A new mother turned to the AITA subreddit to ask whether she was wrong for refusing to let her elderly neighbor come into her home uninvited.
In her post, the original poster (OP) explained that her neighbor, a woman in her 70s, is “super annoying” and constantly wants to come over. The neighbor often asks for help with tasks around her house or with things online. At first, OP and her partner were willing to help, but that changed once OP became pregnant and life got busier.
“She also knocks on our door unannounced and when we open the door, she will just walk into our place,” OP wrote. “If we invite her in, she overstays her welcome and we have to listen to her complain about her health problems.”
Now that OP has a 3-month-old baby, she said her time and energy feel especially “precious.” Recently, the neighbor knocked again, saying she hadn’t seen them in a while and wanted to see the baby.
“She literally tried to push her way into our home but luckily I managed to block the doorway. I told her multiple times, ‘No, please don’t come in,’ ” OP recalled. “The house was a mess and I was in my spit-up covered pjs, no makeup, my hair a rats nest and my husband in his underwear. It just wasn’t a good time.”
“I apologized that we hadn’t reached out to her, or had many visitors, as we have been so busy taking care of our new baby,” she added. The neighbor kept insisting on seeing the baby, so OP finally gave in: she went to the bedroom where her husband was holding their daughter, picked the baby up, and brought her to the doorway so the neighbor could see her—without letting the woman come inside.
The neighbor then asked OP if she was home every day, and OP replied that she is, so she can care for the baby.
“I told her she must know what it’s like since she had four kids and she had the audacity to say ‘Well, I had twins and still made time for visitors,’ ” OP wrote. When OP tried to shift the focus and ask how the neighbor was doing, the woman responded, “Oh I’ve been so busy myself,” and then left.
OP ended her post by asking if she was wrong for refusing to let the neighbor come in, admitting she felt “guilty” because she knows the older woman is lonely. At the same time, she doesn’t want to encourage a pattern where the neighbor feels free to drop by and push her way in whenever she wants.
Commenters overwhelmingly agreed that OP was not at fault, especially with a newborn at home. One person wrote that the neighbor’s behavior crossed a major line:
“NTA. She sounds lonely and that’s sad, but trying to force your way into someone else’s house is way over the line.”
Another commenter suggested OP simply stop answering the door when the neighbor shows up, sharing a similar experience of their own.
“NTA but stop answering the door. We have an elderly neighbor like this and although she is a nice woman and I sympathize with her being lonely, I had to put my foot down,” they wrote. “You could even put a little sign near your doorbell asking people not to knock or ring since [baby] may be asleep.”
