Woman Doesn’t Want Husband to Attend Her Birthday Trip After Previously Having ‘Disagreements’ with Her Friends

A woman says she’s debating whether to leave her husband out of her upcoming birthday trip after repeated conflicts between him and her friends have made group gatherings uncomfortable.

Sharing her dilemma on Reddit’s Am I The A—— forum, the woman explained that she recently told her husband she would prefer he not join the trip because of ongoing disagreements he’s had with members of her friend group.

She said she worries his presence would create tension and overshadow what’s meant to be a celebratory getaway.

“Within the last two years, my husband has gotten into disagreements on four different occasions with different people in our friend group, often over politics,” she wrote. “It doesn’t end in ‘agree to disagree’ and generally ends the night or dampens the mood.”

According to her post, she told her husband that if he couldn’t remain polite or drop contentious topics, it might be better for him not to come along. She then asked fellow Reddit users whether she was wrong for feeling this way.

Responses were divided. Some commenters argued that she should be prioritizing her marriage over her friendships.

“Your husband is your life partner, and it’s more important to be on the same page as your husband than your friends,” one person wrote, adding that compromise is often necessary to make a marriage work.

Others took a different view, suggesting that the situation pointed to deeper issues within the relationship itself.

“Do you love him and want to be with him? Because your post implies you don’t, which may be fine — but it’s something you need to address rather than avoiding it with a trip,” one commenter said.

Another questioned whether the relationship was sustainable if she would rather celebrate without him. “If you’d prefer not to have him there, are you sure this is a relationship you want to continue?” they asked.

Several responses echoed the idea that the marriage might already be under strain. One commenter noted that choosing friends over a spouse doesn’t automatically make someone wrong, but it does suggest unresolved problems. Others advised the couple to consider counseling if they hope to move forward together.