Black Woman Discusses How She Handles Comments About Her Blonde-Haired, Blue-Eyed Daughter with ‘Grace’

One mom is handling tough questions about her child’s parentage with patience and humor.

Alex McCurry has shared her parenting journey online for years. But after the birth of her youngest child, nicknamed “Pudge Pudge,” she began receiving constant questions about her daughter’s appearance.

Alex is Black, and her husband, Rob, is White. Their two older kids, Chub Chub (8) and Bubba (6), both have darker features. Pudge Pudge, now 3, was born with light skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes, which made many people curious.

“I’ll be honest with you, one of the things I thought was somebody made a mistake,” Alex told PEOPLE. The couple used in vitro fertilization (IVF) to conceive Pudge Pudge. “Nobody made a mistake.”

During her C-section, Alex remembers Rob’s reaction to their baby’s skin tone. Though he tried to stay calm, he whispered that they might need to run a test. A paternity test later confirmed Pudge Pudge is biologically theirs.

“The first time I laid eyes on her, I was like, ‘she’s light,’” Alex said. She even checked the baby’s ears, since darker-skinned babies sometimes show color there. “But her ears had no color.”

As Alex kept sharing videos of her family, people online began questioning if Rob had cheated. “I was like, yes, he cheated and got me pregnant with his cheating baby,” Alex joked sarcastically.

Despite dismissing rumors, Alex continues to answer questions—often with humor. When one commenter asked how to block her, she posted a video tutorial.

But the comments haven’t only been online. Alex recalls a woman once complimenting her for being a great nanny, not realizing she was Pudge Pudge’s mom. In another case, she and a friend were followed in a grocery store by a woman who suspected they had stolen the baby.

“At first, my reaction was like, why would somebody steal a baby? Do you know how stressful it is to have kids?” Alex joked.

Still, she believes these moments reveal bias. “As long as the kid looks healthy and is in a loving situation, that’s what matters,” she said. “Coming up to us and saying anything is really exposing [the] racial bias that you have.”

Alex’s husband has only had to step in once. Most of the time, she handles the interactions herself. She also points out that other relatives in her family are biracial and resemble Pudge Pudge, so her daughter’s appearance isn’t shocking to her.

Alex is also focused on preparing her children for the future. She teaches them about their Dominican and Irish heritage and uses age-appropriate lessons to instill pride in who they are. She even plays James Brown’s “I’m Black and I’m Proud” for them, encouraging them to repeat the words.

Though she knows Pudge Pudge may face questions about her looks as she grows older, Alex hopes her children feel secure in their identity. Recently, she’s tried to share more videos of her family’s everyday life, rather than only responding to questions.

“I try to keep up, but I’m only one person and I’m tired,” Alex admitted, laughing about the challenge of raising three active kids.