College Student Says She Doesn’t ‘Deserve’ to Be Yelled at by Parents for Not Cleaning the Kitchen After Dinner

A 21-year-old college student who still lives at home says she’s being scolded for not doing “her fair share” of housework — but she believes her parents’ expectations don’t match her schedule.

In a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” forum, the student explained that she’s a full-time double major and also works a part-time job “one to two times a week and about two Saturdays a month.”

She added that she lives with her parents and three younger siblings, but she’s “not home a lot of the time” — and often isn’t around for dinner.

Even so, she says she’s “consistently getting yelled at” for not helping clean up after meals she didn’t eat, and that a recent incident pushed her over the edge.

She wrote that she got home around 7:30 p.m., after dinner was already finished. According to her, food was still out, things needed to be put away, and dishes still had to be done. She went to her room, assuming her siblings — ages 17, 10, and 7 — would handle the cleanup since they were the ones who had eaten.

But the next morning, she noticed a dirty pan still sitting on the stove. That’s when, she says, her mother began “yelling” and “cussing” at her.

The student said this has happened more than once, and she doesn’t feel she “deserve[s] to be yelled at like this.” She ended her post by asking readers: “So, am I the a-hole?”

In the comments, people were divided.

Some argued it doesn’t make sense to expect her to clean up after a dinner she wasn’t there for.

One commenter framed it as a numbers issue: if five people ate the meal, the sixth person — especially someone who wasn’t home and didn’t eat it later — shouldn’t be the one responsible for the mess. They said the expectation was unreasonable and ruled “NTA.”

Others took a more balanced view, saying she should contribute to household work since she’s an adult living at home, likely without paying rent. One person voted “ESH,” writing that she should “carry [her] weight” through chores like cleaning and cooking — while also acknowledging that assigning her dinner dishes may not make sense if her schedule is inconsistent and other kids are available to help.

Another commenter suggested the conflict might come down to unclear expectations, urging her to have a calm conversation with her parents about responsibilities. If post-dinner cleanup doesn’t fit her routine, they suggested agreeing on a different contribution — like yard work every other weekend — so everyone knows what’s expected.