Father ‘Disappointed’ After Daughter Declines Invite to Family Barbecue 2 Weeks After Giving Birth

Navigating family relationships is challenging at the best of times — and it can feel almost impossible in the weeks after giving birth.

A 22-year-old new mother recently shared on Reddit that she experienced a major fallout with her family just two weeks after welcoming her baby.

She explained that her family organized a barbecue to “celebrate” the new arrival without asking her first. At the time, she was caring for a newborn and two toddlers and was completely unprepared for the expectation that she would attend.

“I wasn’t prepared mentally or physically to pack up baby and the other two kiddos and put them in the back together for a 40 minute drive,” she wrote, adding that she was overwhelmed by the idea of “a barbecue with a bunch of people probably wanting to hold baby, while chasing the toddlers around, while trying to breastfeed, while still physically healing from giving birth.”

Before this, her father had simply said he wanted her to make time when her stepmother, Anne, was in town. She assumed that meant a low-key visit at her home — the kind of arrangement many families make after someone has just had a baby — not a full social event.

For the exhausted mom, the trip felt completely unrealistic. Between sleep deprivation, postpartum anxiety, and caring for a newborn on an unpredictable schedule, she told her dad the request just wasn’t manageable.

His reply stunned her: “You need to get out of the house and make [a] f-king effort,” he wrote, also telling her to call her stepmother and explain herself. She did.

At first, the conversation with her stepmother seemed productive. Anne said she would talk to her father — but the next day, the message she relayed left the new mom feeling dismissed. According to the post, Anne told her that her dad was “still disappointed” and added that “he does so much for you and all he’s asking is for you to come to a dinner.”

Feeling unheard, the Reddit user decided to send her father a longer message, including a screenshot from ChatGPT to help explain her perspective. “Since you won’t listen to me even an AI robot can tell you you’re being unfair,” she wrote.

She then tried to end on a calm, reasonable note: “I understand you’re excited and this isn’t forever. I’m not saying we’ll never come visit you but RIGHT NOW, at this moment, it’s just not do-able for us.”

Her family’s reaction was harsh. She said she received comments like “be an adult” and “figure it out with your father and stop getting me involved.”

Six weeks later, she wrote that no one in her family had reached out — not to her, and not to ask about the baby, even over Thanksgiving. “They are missing the most precious weeks of their first grandchild’s life over this,” she shared.

The poster said she feels torn: she does want a relationship with her family, but she also believes her boundaries were reasonable during such a vulnerable phase of recovery.

Many commenters agreed with her. One wrote, “You’d just given birth — you needed rest, not a 40-minute trip and a crowd.” Another added that her family’s reaction was “selfish and dismissive of what postpartum recovery is really like,” noting that she communicated her needs clearly and that her relatives “chose to take offense.”