Groom Plans to Take His Wife’s Last Name After Their Wedding. Now His Dad is Furious

A groom’s father is struggling to accept his son’s decision ahead of his wedding.

In a letter to the Dear Prudence advice column, a woman explained that her son, Ken, recently decided he will be taking his fiancée Marie’s last name after their marriage — a choice that has left her husband furious.

According to the woman, Marie’s family has no male heirs to carry on their surname. Her father and grandfather had been “rather depressed about it,” since Marie has three sisters and all her cousins are women.

Ken decided to take Marie’s last name to “honor her family’s legacy,” which left her father and grandfather “elated.” But the woman’s husband “was not” happy with the choice.

“I’ve tried explaining to him that this is Ken’s decision, plus we have two other sons who carry our last name,” she wrote. “Still, he’s whining about it and even derisively referring to Ken as ‘Mr. [Fiancée’s Last Name].’”

She asked Prudence, “What can I do to get him to shut his trap and be happy for our son?”

Prudence responded that while the father’s reaction may come from surprise or difficulty accepting the change, he should focus on maintaining a healthy relationship with his son and future daughter-in-law. The columnist suggested that his attachment to the surname likely stems from his emotional connection to Ken as his son.

Prudence advised that the wife remind her husband that “by being an a——” about the issue, he risks “actively chipping away” at the relationship and pushing the couple away. The decision, she noted, “has already been made,” leaving him with two choices — to stay close to Ken “with his fiancée’s last name,” or to alienate him through “mockery and judgment.” She urged him to “choose wisely.”

One man who made the same choice shared his own experience, saying, “My last name was always more of an annoyance to me, because it had no sentimental or family value… When the time came to [change my name], it was a no-brainer.”

“I have plenty of friends who would never, ever, ever do that, and would feel emasculated or made fun of,” he added. “But I think it’s just about being secure and having the confidence to own it.”