Man and New Partner Seek to Reduce His Child Support After Having More Kids, but Ex-Wife Says Their Finances ‘Aren’t My Problem’

Co-parenting after divorce is complicated enough — and for one mom on Reddit, things only got messier once her ex-husband started a new family.

In her post, the mother of three shared that her marriage fell apart after years of feeling like she was carrying the entire household. She worked full-time and still handled “all of the cooking, cleaning, household and kid management,” while her husband only worked his job and “sometimes did yard work.” When she tried to talk to him about the imbalance, nothing changed. He refused therapy, and eventually she decided she’d “rather have 3 kids than 4” and ended the marriage.

Following the divorce, her ex agreed to see the kids every other weekend and paid a significant amount of child support without putting up a fight. But only a few months later, he announced that he was engaged to a woman 16 years younger — and that they were already expecting a baby. Over time, their home grew to include another baby as well as his new wife’s older child from a previous relationship.

According to the Reddit poster, her three kids “do not like being at their father’s house,” mainly because of tension with the new wife and her son. Still, she makes a point of speaking “only positively” about their dad and his wife when talking to the children.

Her own life, meanwhile, took a much happier turn. An old friend moved back to town, their friendship deepened into romance, and she eventually remarried. She described her current home as “quite happy,” with a husband who loves her kids and a stable environment where they’re all thriving.

The peace didn’t last with her ex, though. After he and his new wife welcomed their second baby together, they went back to court to request 50/50 custody. She was convinced this wasn’t about being more involved parents but about trying to “pay less child support.” The court denied the request, and instead, his child support obligation went up — which only fueled more resentment.

A few months later, she received a major promotion and started earning significantly more than her ex. However, the existing support order stayed the same. As she explained, it’s up to him to go back to court if he wants it recalculated, and in her state, that can only be requested every two years — so “they can’t for another year anyways.”

Eventually, everything boiled over at her eldest child’s sports game. Her ex’s wife approached her and said that they were struggling financially, adding that she knew the other household “didn’t need the child support” and asking her to “please consider her kids.”

The mom replied that the money “wasn’t for me, it was for the kids from their father, and her kids were not my problem.” She also pointed out that the new wife “currently doesn’t work,” and suggested that “if they are struggling financially she’s more than welcome to get a job.”

Afterward, the poster admitted she briefly wondered if saying “her kids weren’t my responsibility” was too harsh. But any lingering guilt disappeared when she received a final message from the new wife, who wrote that “if you refuse to pay us back the money he’s FORCED to give you the least you can do is have your husband adopt him so he can sign away his rights.”

The mom forwarded the message to her lawyer, blocked the new wife, and closed her post with a resigned reflection on the situation: “God I’ll never forgive him for making me interact with this woman.”