Man Books a Vacation to Thailand Without Girlfriend, Then Gets Upset When She Books Her Own Trip

A woman asked Reddit for advice after a holiday travel dispute with her boyfriend left her feeling caught off guard and annoyed.

In her post, she explained that they approach travel in completely different ways. She prefers to plan early because of work schedules and budget limits, while he favors spontaneity, largely because he earns significantly more and can afford to book trips on short notice.

They had casually discussed a possible December trip to Thailand, but she stressed it was never confirmed. He still didn’t know his annual leave dates, and she said it “wasn’t a real plan.” A few days before the argument, she told him she likely wouldn’t go, explaining that she couldn’t suddenly spend “£800–£1k on flights out of nowhere.”

Despite that, she said her boyfriend booked his own flights to Thailand the very next day — without telling her beforehand. Afterward, he messaged her saying there were “options for me to come,” which made her feel as though he had made a decision for both of them, even after she’d said she was out.

Once she accepted the Thailand trip wasn’t happening for her, she went ahead and booked flights home for Christmas instead. That’s when things escalated. According to her, her boyfriend reacted with irritation and said he was “baffled” that she booked a trip without discussing it — even though he had done the same thing less than a day earlier.

He argued that Thailand “was always the plan,” despite her earlier refusal and the lack of any finalized bookings until he bought his own ticket. She said he even claimed he expected her to be checking flight prices so they could end up on the same plane, which confused her since she had been explicit that she wasn’t joining him.

To her, it felt like a glaring double standard: he could make solo decisions without consultation, but her doing the same suddenly became a problem. She said it left her wondering why her independence upset him when he exercised his freely.

Money was also central to the conflict. She pointed out that while she’s fine splitting costs when trips are planned in advance, last-minute bookings drive prices up beyond what she can reasonably afford. She felt he wasn’t taking their income gap into account and still expected equal contributions regardless of timing.

She added that even after repeatedly explaining her position, he continued sending her flight options, as if trying to wear down her boundaries. She described feeling pressured to reconsider a trip she had already clearly declined.

Reddit commenters largely backed her up, focusing on both the financial imbalance and what they saw as controlling behavior. One person said that if he wanted her there at last-minute prices, “he can help fund it.” Another warned that ignoring her boundary and booking a couples-style trip without confirming she could go were major red flags, encouraging her to enjoy Christmas with her family and reflect on his behavior while they’re apart.