Man Helped Girlfriend When Times Were Tough. Now That Roles Are Reversed, She Refuses to Help

A man turned to Reddit for advice after admitting he planned to break up with his girlfriend — but only after he “used her” to get back on his feet financially.

In his post, he explained that they’d been together for a little over a year. Early on, his girlfriend was in a tough spot: her living situation was unstable and her car had been repossessed.

“In the beginning of our relationship she was in a really rough spot with her living situation and her car getting repossessed,” he wrote, adding that at the time, his “money and work was good,” so he chose to step in and support her.

He said he covered almost all of her basic expenses while she worked to get out of debt. “I covered all her expenses as far as rent, food, utilities, bought her a car and other things while she focused on her credit cards and other personal debts,” he shared.

For nearly a year, he effectively became her financial safety net, helping her stabilize her life while he took on much of the financial burden.

Then their circumstances flipped. “Fast forward 11 months and now I’m in a rough spot where work is bad and I’m barely bringing home any money,” he wrote.

Now that she’s financially stable, he claimed his girlfriend “refuses to help me because she thinks it would be a waste of her money since her help wouldn’t get me out of debt and I would still be in the same financial spot.”

According to his post, whenever he asked her for help, she shut the idea down. “Anytime I have asked for financial help she’ll make an excuse,” he said.

He noted that she currently pays the rent and sometimes buys food through DoorDash, but he feels frustrated that she also spends “on leisurely things without a second thought” while he struggles.

As his situation worsened, he said he was forced to start letting go of personal items. “I have had to pawn and sell my belongings while she watches and refuses to help in any way,” he wrote. The imbalance left him wondering if he was wrong for wanting to end the relationship once he becomes financially stable again.

Commenters were divided but direct. Some pointed out that his earlier generosity may have contributed to his current hardship. One person wrote, “You might not be in a jam if you hadn’t helped her out. If she isn’t going to pay you back then stay with her and get back on your feet.”

Others were more sympathetic to his frustration and said he was justified in leaving. “NTA! But why wait to break up with her… you supported her and she can’t even help you,” one commenter said, noting that she was still paying for “DoorDash and other frivolous stuff” while he sold his possessions.

They urged him to “just get away from her” and warned that her spending habits could land her “back in the red sooner rather than later.”