Man Refuses to Pay Girlfriend’s $9K Credit Card Debt, but She Says He Needs to ‘Invest’ in Their Relationship

A man has found himself in conflict with his girlfriend after she asked him to help pay off part of her credit card debt.

The 30-year-old shared his dilemma on Reddit, asking whether he made the right call in refusing to take on her financial burden.

“We’ve been together almost three years, and things have been good overall,” he explained. “We’ve talked a lot about the future and were planning to move in together soon — as in, actively browsing apartments.”

However, last week she revealed she had “around $9,000 in credit card debt,” something he says he had no idea about.

“I asked why she didn’t mention it earlier, and she said it was embarrassing and she thought she could handle it before it became our problem,” he wrote.

She then told him she wanted to delay moving in together unless he was willing to help pay down the balance. Her suggestion was that he contribute $300 to $500 a month to “speed things up.” He told her he wasn’t comfortable with that arrangement.

“I don’t have any debt. I worked hard to stay that way. I’ve had my own money struggles, so I’ve always been careful with spending,” he said. “While I don’t mind helping out here and there in a relationship, I don’t think it’s fair to expect me to take on someone else’s financial mess — especially before we even live together.”

According to him, his girlfriend saw it differently, calling him “unsupportive” and saying that if he “really saw a future with her,” he would be “willing to invest” in it.

“But to me, that’s not what this is. It feels more like I’m being asked to bail her out, and I’m just not okay with that,” he said.

He stood firm and refused to give her the money, but says the mood between them has since turned frosty.

“She’s barely texting back, and when we talk, she’s cold. I feel like I’m being punished for setting a boundary,” he wrote. “But I also don’t want to start living together on the wrong foot, feeling like I’m financially responsible for her past choices.”

Commenters on his Reddit post largely backed his decision.

“This is a problem she created. You are not her checkbook,” one user wrote.

“Run, dude! Any partner who hides their debt, then tries to guilt you into paying it, then gaslights you when you say no, is not the person to build a life with,” another advised.