A man says he doesn’t want to legally marry his long-term girlfriend because of her questionable financial habits.
The 29-year-old shared his story on a Reddit post titled “[Am I the A——] for not wanting to legally marry my GF of 10 years because she is bad with money?”
In the post, he explained that he and his 28-year-old girlfriend have been together for 10 years, but they currently live apart because he is studying for a Ph.D. out of state.
“I do love her and want to have a family with her,” he added.
The problem?
The man has a lot of student loans and won’t start earning a full income for at least four more years. His girlfriend, on the other hand, “makes 60K a year and lives with her parents, so the only expense she has is food.”
Despite their different financial situations, the man said his girlfriend still expects him to pay for dinners and dates when he visits their hometown, which can cost $500 to $1,000 per trip.
When he told her he couldn’t realistically afford to pay for everything, she “got mad and claimed I don’t prioritize her.”
He also said he recently told his girlfriend that while he would be okay with a purely religious ceremony, he doesn’t feel comfortable legally marrying her because of their very different attitudes about money.
“It just seems like a dumb choice to financially bind myself to someone [who] acts like they have no financial sense,” he added.
Most commenters said the man should think carefully about whether he wants this relationship in the long term.
“I’m a woman, and I would run very far away from this woman. Save yourself a divorce,” one person said.
“A good relationship should be a partnership where both people bring something to it. OP’s [girlfriend] is making this relationship transactional. A good partner would at least offer to do cheap dates and split the cost,” another added.
Another comment said, “She’s prioritizing outdated societal norms over her relationship with him and his well-being. She’s a gold digger even though she’s the one holding the gold.”
Some noted that while the man’s concerns are valid, he also isn’t being fair to his girlfriend.
“It’s not fair to keep her around if you don’t see marriage in the future. You’re wasting both of your prime dating years. Cut bait and find someone who more aligns with your economic values. For her sake and yours,” one commenter said.
