Man Says His Male Friend Is ‘Upset’ Because He Doesn’t Adhere to the ‘Bro Code’: ‘There’s Nothing I Don’t Tell My Wife’

A man says his male friend is “upset” with him because he doesn’t follow the “bro code” and shares everything with his wife. He went online to ask who is in the wrong.

The man shared his story on the popular Reddit forum “Am I the A——”, where users seek advice about personal problems. He explained that he is “happily married” and “there’s nothing I don’t tell my wife.”

“IMO [in my opinion], if you can’t say something in front of your wife then you either shouldn’t be saying it, you should work on your communication, or you’re not as compatible as you thought,” he wrote.

The original poster (OP) also said he does not believe in the “bro code,” which is an informal idea that men should never “betray” a male friend. He noted that his friend — whom he has known for “25 years” — already knows this about him.

However, the OP said his friend recently approached him and wanted to talk “in confidence.”

“I told him […] that anything he tells me he’s telling my wife, too,” the OP said.

The Redditor added that his friend got “upset” and “contacted all of our friends and asked them if they’d go running to their wives when someone confided in them.” He said now all of their mutual friends are taking his friend’s side.

“AITA [am I the a——] for not wanting to keep secrets from my wife and being open about that?” the OP asked at the end of his post.

Most commenters said they thought the OP was wrong in this situation and suggested he reconsider how he handles friendships.

“YTA [you’re the a——],” one person wrote. “Insisting ‘there’s nothing I don’t tell my wife’ is fine when it concerns YOUR BUSINESS. Not fine when it concerns a friend’s business. Keeping your friend’s personal things between the two of you is just basic human decency. Your idea that your wife is entitled to everything is unbelievable.”

Another person said, “I believe what friends share should be kept a secret. Why does your wife have to know something about your friend that he wants kept secret? Unless it directly affects your wife, why does she need to know everything about everyone?”

Someone else added, “YTA. You don’t need to tell everything to your wife. If it concerns her or she asks, then tell her. But if it’s none of her business, why can’t you keep your friend’s confidence? That’s just basic discretion. If you can’t be discreet for your friend, then you’re not really their friend.