Mom Asks If She’s Wrong for Not Wanting Her Son’s Stepmom to Join Them at Special Mother-Son Dinner

A mom went to Reddit’s AITA forum to ask if she was wrong for not wanting her son’s stepmom to attend a special event.

She explained that her 15-year-old son has an upcoming mother-son dinner hosted by his football team. The mom said she was “obviously planning to go” since it was a chance to bond with her son.

But her son told her that his stepmom was also planning to attend. The mom shared that her ex’s wife never mentioned it to her and admitted, “honestly, I don’t want her to go.”

Although she acknowledged that the stepmom has been in her son’s life for five years, she added, “She’s not his mom, nor did she have the respect to call or text me and ask how I felt about it.” She asked if it was wrong to politely tell her ex’s wife that she didn’t want her there.

In the comments, many Reddit users felt the mom was in the wrong. One person pointed out that even though the dinner is meant for mothers and sons, it should be more about the son’s wishes than the mom’s.

“This is going to be really hard for you,” they wrote. “You are not the one who gets to make this choice. It is about what your son wants. Does he want you there? Her? Both of you? If your son wants her there, you need to respect that.”

Another commenter, who identified as a stepmom, said she makes sure to check with the children’s mom before attending events.

“Stepmom here. I go to lots of my stepkids’ events. And it has never and will never be my intention to take their mom’s place. They already have a mom, and she’s a great mom. That’s not my role,” she explained. “But I can be an extra adult who loves them and supports them.”

She added that for a mother-child event, she would either not attend or first ask what the child wanted and then check with the mom.

Later, the original poster updated her post, saying the comments helped her realize it should be her son’s decision.

“Thank you for your comments! You made me realize that it’s not really my event, it’s my son’s. So he should decide,” she wrote. “He said he’d like us both to go, which is perfectly fine with me.”

She ended by saying she appreciated the advice and admitted her feelings had clouded her judgment.