Mom Donated Daughter’s Old Winter Coats to Son’s Friends. Then Their Dad Showed Up Angry on Her Doorstep

A mother is questioning herself after a well-intended gesture toward her 13-year-old son’s friends blew up in an unexpected way.

In a post on Reddit’s Am I the A——?, the woman explained that her son often has two friends over — twin girls who recently moved from California to a small Midwest town where winter temperatures have dropped fast since their arrival in September.

The mom said her older daughter, 20, is home from college for break and was the first to notice something that didn’t sit right: the twins frequently arrived wearing only jean jackets or hoodies — not the kind of outerwear most kids rely on when the weather turns harsh. Her daughter asked whether there were any old winter clothes in the attic that could be passed along.

After checking, the mom found a stash of good-quality cold-weather items her older daughter had outgrown. She decided the twins could use them more than her younger child, especially after her son mentioned the girls shared a single wardrobe. Her daughter brought a box of the items to the twins and told them they were welcome to take what they wanted — otherwise the clothes would likely be thrown away. The twins hesitated at first, but eventually accepted the clothes and seemed pleased.

A few days later, though, the mom said she heard a knock at the door. When she opened it, the twins’ stepfather was standing there holding the same box of clothes. According to the post, he told her they “don’t take donations in this house” and warned her to stay out of their family business.

The mom said his reaction felt disproportionate and confrontational — as if she had disrupted his day. Trying to make sense of it, she asked whether the girls already had winter coats and simply weren’t wearing them. The stepfather reportedly replied that the twins were “tough.”

Now, the mother is left unsettled by the exchange — and wondering whether she crossed a line by offering help.

In the comments, many readers argued she did nothing wrong, and some urged her to stay observant about the twins’ situation.

One commenter suggested the stepfather’s wording was concerning, interpreting “they’re tough” as a way of dismissing the girls’ basic needs. Another wrote that refusing winter clothing on principle — especially in a cold climate — could be a sign the children aren’t being properly cared for, and urged the mom to consider contacting child protective services if there are additional red flags.

Others believed the stepfather’s reaction may have been driven by pride, but said that shouldn’t discourage kindness. One person noted they grew up accepting “pre-loved” clothing without shame, adding that the mom couldn’t have predicted the hostility.

Several commenters also recommended bypassing the stepfather entirely and speaking to the twins’ mother instead — both to explain what happened and to better understand whether the girls are safe and supported at home.