A new mom was stunned to discover that her sister-in-law had met her baby for the first time — without her knowledge and while she wasn’t there.
The original poster (OP) shared on Reddit that her husband’s sister had been avoiding them and their baby for about six months. According to OP, every other relative — even those they aren’t particularly close to — had made the effort to visit their home and meet the baby, despite the distance. Her sister-in-law, however, had not.
OP explained that she and her husband visit her mother-in-law’s house once a week and, more recently, have been leaving their daughter there for an hour or two so they can run errands. After one of these routine visits, they arrived to pick up their baby and learned that her sister-in-law had come over — and met the baby for the very first time.
She said she was hurt and angry that no one had warned them or asked how they felt about it beforehand. OP described the situation as “weird and disrespectful,” especially because neither parent was present for that first meeting. She turned to Reddit to ask whether she was overreacting or if her feelings were justified.
Commenters largely took OP’s side, saying her mother-in-law had crossed a line by arranging the visit.
Many pointed out that this incident showed OP that her mother-in-law shouldn’t be trusted with unsupervised time anymore. Some suggested that she and her husband should immediately revoke solo visits and only allow contact with the baby when they are there to supervise.
Others said both the mother-in-law and sister-in-law shared responsibility for what happened. They argued that organizing a “secret” first meeting was a clear breach of trust and a deliberate decision to exclude the baby’s parents from a major moment.
Several commenters also warned OP to think ahead: if her mother-in-law was willing to ignore her boundaries about something this important, what else might happen behind her back — such as overnight stays, unapproved babysitting, or feeding the baby new foods without permission.
A number of replies encouraged OP and her husband to set firm boundaries and communicate them clearly. They suggested having her husband speak directly to his mother and sister, explaining that there would be consequences for ignoring their wishes and that future access to the baby would depend on respecting those boundaries.
