Monica Lewinsky says reclaiming a sense of normalcy around intimacy was difficult in the years after her relationship with former President Bill Clinton became public.
In a recent interview with the British newspaper The Times, Lewinsky, now 52, reflected on the first time she had s** after 1998. She said she “just wanted to get it over with” so she could prove to herself that intimacy wouldn’t remain a lasting stigma.
The scandal erupted in 1998, when Lewinsky was 24 and Clinton was serving as president. Clinton initially denied the relationship, but later acknowledged it. The controversy led to his impeachment by the U.S. House of Representatives; he was ultimately acquitted by the Senate.
Lewinsky said the experience of hearing Clinton publicly deny the relationship — describing him as “the most powerful man in the world” saying, “I did not have sex with that woman” — left her carrying what she called “baggage” that she has continued to grapple with over time. “I wonder sometimes about the impact it still has on me,” she said.
She also pointed to the long-lasting fallout from the intense public scrutiny, including explicit details made public in the Starr Report. Lewinsky said the humiliation was “excruciating,” and while she has previously described the relationship as consensual, she now views the power imbalance as “a gross abuse of power. Full stop.”
“Life was almost unbearable,” she said.
Today, Lewinsky said things have become easier as she has focused on building a fuller life and living more authentically. Clinton remains married to Hillary Clinton, whom he married in 1975.
