A woman turned to Reddit for advice after finding herself in the middle of unexpected family tension surrounding her sister-in-law’s upcoming bachelorette party. Although she felt honored to be invited, she explained that attending the three-day celebration simply wasn’t realistic for her right now.
“I didn’t respond to the group chat initially because I was hoping I would be able to make arrangements and be able to attend,” she wrote. The bride-to-be had planned an elaborate weekend packed with a boat cruise, winery visits, bar hopping, and multiple group dinners and breakfasts.
The woman shared that she’s currently in school and not working, leaving her on a tight budget. “I don’t have any extra income for the three days,” she said.
Money wasn’t her only obstacle. She also had to think about her pets. “I have three dogs, and I don’t have family or friends nearby who could dog-sit for me,” she explained, adding that hiring a sitter wasn’t financially possible either.
Her husband couldn’t help, since he was set to attend the bachelor party the same weekend. “Since my husband is going to the bachelor party for the same three days, he won’t be able to stay to watch the dogs either,” she said.
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Her mother-in-law offered to help by visiting the dogs several times a day, but that didn’t ease her concerns. “My dogs are large and very energetic,” she explained. “She’s almost 70, and I’m not comfortable leaving her with that responsibility.”
The woman’s mother-in-law even offered to pay her share of the bachelorette trip, but she still didn’t feel right about going. “I don’t feel comfortable leaving my dogs, and I’m anxious about traveling with a group of girls I don’t really know,” she admitted.
After some thought, she texted her sister-in-law to explain everything. To her relief, her sister-in-law was understanding and told her not to stress about it. For a while, it seemed like the matter was resolved.
Then her husband decided not to go to the bachelor party either. “My husband understands and said he doesn’t feel the need to go,” she wrote. “He’d rather stay home and work than spend the money to hang out with a bunch of guys a lot younger than him that he doesn’t know.”
But his decision didn’t sit well with his mother. “She called him crying, saying he only has one sister and should ‘have it in his heart to go,’” the woman said. “She made him out to be the villain just because I can’t attend the bachelorette.”
Feeling cornered, her husband told his mother he’d go if it meant that much to his sister. The woman, however, was left hurt and confused by the drama. “I just wish she [his sister] would’ve reached out herself instead of involving his mother,” she said. “Now it feels like I caused a problem.”
She asked Reddit if she was in the wrong: “Am I the a—— for not going to her bachelorette? Is it really as big of a deal as they’re making it?”
Most commenters reassured her that she wasn’t at fault. “Neither one of you should go. Save your money. Nobody has the right to compel you to do anything—especially if it costs a fortune,” one person wrote.
Another added, “Weddings are out of control these days. All the expectations and expenses the bride and groom put on people are insane.”
