A woman says her fiancé is pressuring her so much to take his last name that he’s now involving his own mother.
In a Reddit post, the 27-year-old, who wished to remain anonymous, explains that a recent phone conversation about changing last names after marriage escalated when her fiancé brought his mom into the discussion.
“We had already talked about this weeks ago, and emotions were high then,” she writes. “I was hesitant to bring it up in front of his mom because of that. He kept asking me about it, and I guess I didn’t say the right thing because she got upset.”
She continues: “My fiancé said, as he did before, he won’t marry me if I don’t take his last name. His mom was calm at first and tried to explain that it’s about honoring your husband and respecting him, but she said she would respect my decision. I told her I don’t understand that and feel like it’s an outdated practice. That made her upset.”
The situation reportedly escalated when her future mother-in-law started “raising her voice over the phone.”
The woman admits she’s feeling torn: “I am feeling guilty, but also hurt by both of their actions. Ultimately, I decided it isn’t worth making him upset because I love him so much. Right now I can’t sleep because I feel so bad about it. I also feel like I’m not being true to myself by agreeing to change it.”
Seeking perspective, she turned to Reddit for advice: “Am I missing something here? Can someone who agrees with them help me understand why one might take this as disrespect?”
Other users weighed in, with one commenting, “Girl, forget the name. Your real problem is that this guy handles differences of opinion by threatening you with consequences. That’s no life partner, that’s a warden.”
Another added, “You need to stand up for yourself. This is only the beginning of your fiancé and mother-in-law ganging up on you.”
