Pregnant Woman Refuses to Tell Mother-in-Law Baby’s Gender After ‘Bad Luck’ Snub. Husband Says She’s Being Unfair

An expectant mother turned to Reddit for advice after a painful disagreement with her husband about who should be included when they find out their baby’s s*x.

In her post, she said she wanted to share the news only with her own father and brother, writing that “I explicitly do not want to tell his mother,” because past experiences had left her feeling ignored and disrespected.

She explained that the tension began early in her pregnancy. At seven weeks, she confided in her mother-in-law and asked her to keep the news private until the first trimester was over. “Within days, she had told her entire side of the family,” the poster wrote. When confronted, her mother-in-law said she wanted her relatives’ blessing, despite being asked to wait.

As the pregnancy went on, the poster said it stirred up memories from the first holiday season after her mother died. She recalled that her mother-in-law refused to host her for Christmas because her home had “seen a death” and she was therefore considered “bad luck.” The expectant mother said she ended up grieving alone during what was already an incredibly difficult time.

The contrast between being shunned then and her mother-in-law’s sudden excitement about the baby felt insincere. “It feels completely fake,” she wrote, saying that the new pet names and eagerness to be involved only appeared once she became pregnant.

She told Reddit that her boundaries were rooted in protection, not revenge. “This isn’t about ‘fairness.’ It’s about trust and respect,” she said, explaining that her father and brother had consistently supported her, while his mother had broken her trust more than once.

Her husband, however, disagreed. According to the post, he argued that “she’s my mom,” accused his wife of “punishing” his mother, and framed the issue as a matter of fairness, rather than acknowledging the emotional hurt behind his wife’s decision.

The poster added that her mother-in-law also has a pattern of financial instability that has deeply affected her husband. She described a history of gambling and bankruptcy “that my husband had to clean up,” and said they chose to tell her early about the pregnancy partly to help keep her motivated after she suffered a stroke.

In the comments, one Redditor urged the mom-to-be to think about the larger pattern in her relationship, not just this single disagreement.

“Why on earth would you proceed to have a baby with a man who abandoned you while you were grieving… and refuses to support you when issues arise with his mother?” the commenter asked, encouraging her to reflect on whether her own emotional needs were being prioritized.

The poster replied that she had actually encouraged her husband to spend that Christmas with his parents while she stayed with her own family, writing, “I have never seen it that way.” She thanked the commenter for the perspective and added, “I will have a talk with Mark tonight,” signaling that she intended to address the deeper issues their conflict had brought to the surface.