Trans Woman Comes Out to Coworkers in an Email. She Was Shocked When She Opened Her Inbox Days Later 

For years, Jade Mali spent her days counting down to 5 p.m. — the moment she could leave her office job and shed the “massive weight” of hiding her gender identity. At home, she could finally express her femininity and reconnect with her true self.

The 28-year-old New Yorker, a regional manager at a real-estate tech company, began her gender transition two years ago. After first coming out to friends and family, she started documenting her journey online under the TikTok handle “becoming_jade,” where she now has nearly 60,000 followers. Her audience grew dramatically when she decided to share her identity at work.

“This wasn’t just me getting something off my chest,” Mali recalls. “It was about to become a very public journey.”

Discovering Herself

Growing up in the rural suburbs of Chicago, Mali sensed from a young age that something about her didn’t fit societal expectations. Though she avoids specific details, she remembers that many around her “didn’t really want me to be that way.” The disconnect between her inner truth and outward appearance caused years of emotional struggle.

“Having so many barriers to that truth created a lot of internal mental-health issues,” she says. “It took me a long time to peel back those protective layers and finally reach a place where I was stripped down to nothing.”

After years of self-reflection and therapy, Mali began coming out to her loved ones at age 26 — even before changing her outward presentation. “I was telling so many people in my personal life I’m a trans woman yet still very much presenting masculine,” she explains. “For me, I wanted to take it slow.”

Transitioning in All Areas of Life

Over time, Mali began taking estrogen, consulting with doctors about facial feminization surgery, and preparing to come out at her corporate job. “I knew appearance-wise things were going to start changing,” she says. “People in corporate America don’t know you that deeply, so it was important that there was congruence between what I was saying I was — a trans woman — and how I was presenting.”

She began by speaking with HR, then met with other managers. “I work for a really progressive company, so there were never concerns around safety or my ability to share this part of my life,” she explains. Her goal was to give colleagues “clarity.”

Eventually, she sent one email to all 130 coworkers announcing her transition. “It was horrifying,” Mali admits. “I was so nervous I felt sick.”

She timed the email for when she’d be on vacation with her family, avoiding her inbox for several days. When she finally checked, it was full of supportive replies — “so overwhelmingly positive,” she says. “It was beyond freeing for me to see and read.”

Living Authentically

Returning to the office, however, remained challenging. “I do feel anxious and guarded most days,” Mali says. “I’m constantly challenging myself to break through that.”

That tension ultimately pushed her to share her experience publicly. “I didn’t see anyone who looked like me or had certain physical attributes I had,” she explains. “It kept me fearful — can I really venture down this path? There will never be enough representation of trans people out there.”

On TikTok, she posts about hormone therapy, dating, workplace life, and the emotional realities of transition. While responses are “a mixed bag,” she’s found deep connection with others who see themselves in her story.

Finding Freedom

Reflecting on the journey, Mali says she feels lighter and more complete. “Nothing has changed and everything has changed,” she says. “I’m still me, yet so much about me — how I look and how I move through the world — has transformed.”

Before coming out at work, she says, “It felt like a constant removal of my identity. Now, there’s so much continuity in my life. Who I am on a Saturday is who I am during the 40 hours I spend at work.”