Wedding Guest Outraged That Bride and Groom, Who Are in Their 60s and Have Both Been Married Before, Registered for Gifts

A wedding guest is raising concerns about an older bride and groom’s choice to register for gifts ahead of their upcoming wedding.

In a letter to the “Asking Eric” advice column published by PENN Live, the guest explained why the registry struck them as inappropriate. The couple, both in their 60s, reportedly have stable, well-paying jobs and have owned single-family homes for many years. This will be the groom’s second marriage and the bride’s third.

Despite their established lives, the couple plans to host a wedding shower and has registered for a wide range of gifts, including expensive kitchen appliances, china, glassware, and home furnishings.

“These are things newlyweds in their 20s or 30s might need to get started,” the guest wrote. “Not middle-aged adults with three marriages and two homes between them.”

The guest said they even discussed the issue directly with the couple, questioning the appropriateness of creating a registry at this stage in life.

“When asked why, they say the things they have are older, and since they’re starting fresh together, they want everything in their home to be new,” the letter explained. “But by registering, they’re essentially asking others to pay to replace items they already own.”

While acknowledging that the bride and groom are otherwise “nice, caring people,” the guest said they felt the couple had “gone off the rails” by asking friends and family to help refurnish and re-equip their household.

The guest also admitted they would feel uncomfortable using the new dishes, glassware, and other gifted items if invited to the couple’s home, and asked whether they were being overly critical.

In response, columnist R. Eric Thomas acknowledged that it does take “a lot of nerve” to ask loved ones to replace belongings that are still perfectly usable. However, he emphasized that no harm is done if friends and family are willing to participate.

“No one is being forced to buy a gift,” Thomas wrote, adding that guests are free to opt out entirely if they feel uncomfortable. “You certainly don’t have to buy them anything if you don’t want to.”

He encouraged the letter writer to take a more relaxed approach, suggesting the issue wasn’t worth damaging a friendship.

“Try to see this as something you wouldn’t do yourself, rather than an offense that makes them unworthy of being your friends,” Thomas concluded.