Wife Doesn’t Want Untrustworthy Mother-in-Law to Know the Sex of Her Baby. Now, Husband Thinks It’s ‘Unfair’ to ‘Punish’ His Mom

A pregnant woman is questioning whether she’s wrong for refusing to tell her mother-in-law the sex of her baby.

Writing on Reddit’s AITAH forum, the 28-year-old said she and her husband, “Mark,” 29, are about to learn their baby’s sex through a blood test. While she wants to share the news with her own father and brother, she told Mark she doesn’t want his mother to know. He disagreed strongly.

“He says I’m being an a—— and that it’s ‘unfair’ to exclude her,” she wrote.

The expectant mom explained that her decision comes from two painful experiences.

First, she says her mother-in-law has a history of ignoring boundaries. When the couple revealed the pregnancy at seven weeks — with a clear request to tell no one until after the first trimester — her mother-in-law still shared the news widely with her side of the family. The poster said she felt pressured into celebrating early, before she was ready.

Second, she described what she called a “bad luck” incident that deeply damaged their relationship. The woman’s mother died last year, and the first Christmas without her was already overwhelming. She says her mother-in-law refused to invite her to the holiday gathering, telling Mark that the poster’s home had “seen a death” and that she was therefore “bad luck.” The woman spent the holiday grieving alone, while her husband went to his mother’s home.

“The pain and disrespect from that act are something I will never forget,” she wrote.

She added that since becoming pregnant, her mother-in-law’s behavior has shifted dramatically — suddenly calling her affectionate names and insisting on being involved in everything.

“It feels completely fake,” she said. “I feel like I’m only valued as the grandchild-bearer.”

The woman told her husband this isn’t about being fair, but about trust.

“My dad and brother have been my rock. They are discreet and supportive,” she explained. “His mother has shown me twice that she is not: first by treating me like a pariah when I was grieving, and second by blasting our private pregnancy news.”

Mark, however, sees it differently. According to the poster, he believes she’s “punishing” his mother and holding a grudge. She added that his mother has faced significant struggles in the past — including gambling, bankruptcy, and a prior stroke — and that the couple told her about the pregnancy early partly to keep her hopeful and motivated.

In the comments, many Reddit users sided with the expectant mother, saying her boundary was reasonable given her mother-in-law’s track record. Others focused their criticism on the husband, arguing that leaving his wife alone on Christmas while she was grieving was a sign of a deeper issue — one that could grow more serious once the baby arrives.