Woman Blames Her Mother-in-Law for Making Her Feel Like a ‘Third Wheel’ in Her Own Marriage

A woman says she feels like “the third wheel” in her own marriage, overwhelmed by her overbearing mother-in-law.

In a Reddit post, she reveals that the situation has gotten so stressful she is now considering divorce.

Although she notes that there were “no big incidents” with her husband’s mother before their wedding, she claims that her mother-in-law now seems “very resentful” toward her.

She describes numerous boundary-crossing incidents, including one in which she asked whether the couple uses protection. Her husband responded by sharing “parts of our sex life,” telling her it was “normal” when she expressed feeling violated.

She also mentions that her mother-in-law frequently targets her with passive-aggressive jokes and dismisses her interests, such as her love of reading.

Additionally, the woman claims her mother-in-law engages in “weird emotional competitions,” constantly reminding her that she will always love her son the most and regularly calling him to vent.

“She regularly calls crying and venting, even when he’s overwhelmed with grief after his father’s death. She never seeks therapy and expects him to be her emotional support system. Last week she called him while he was at work because the wifi wasn’t working. Mind you, at her house, two people were around including an IT guy. She said she ‘didn’t want to bother them.’ But my husband? Sure,” she writes.

Being from a different country, she adds that her husband’s mother occasionally makes “xenophobic comments” and other troubling remarks.

“Once we were discussing a true crime case with his parents. His dad said if his son ever did anything to his partner, he’d be the first to turn him to police. MIL was silent, so FIL asked what was going on. She said dead serious she wouldn’t. And she’d find a way to help him get out of that because it was her baby. Gave me the chills that she’d say something like that,” she recalls.

However, her biggest frustration is her husband’s unwavering defense of his mother.

“He says there’s ‘no bad intention,’ that his mom is ‘just being herself,’ and I’m ‘too sensitive.’ He minimizes my feelings and seems more concerned about her well-being and not upsetting her than how I feel,” she explains.

She continues: “I’m starting to feel invisible. Like I walked into a family where I’ll never be truly welcomed. And even though I love my husband, I’m wondering if this is sustainable. This is really taking a toll on me. I don’t even feel like being intimate with him because I don’t know what he will tell his mom… And I don’t want to be a third wheel for them.”

Now, with the holidays approaching, she is considering asking him for a divorce.

She closes her post by asking Reddit users: “Any advice on how to approach the divorce talk and make it as calm as possible to retrieve my belongings? Am I overreacting?”

Many commenters think she is not overreacting.

One user writes: “I have a low tolerance for jellyfish so if he can’t grow a spine I’m done. I don’t need [my] home to make me miserable. You don’t owe anyone a reason or explanation because I’m sure you’ve had the same argument a million times with [no] change. Get everything important out and send him an email once you’re out.”