Woman Refuses to Lend Car to Cousin Who Previously Totaled 2 Vehicles

One woman is standing her ground after telling her cousin “no” — and now she’s wondering if she’s in the wrong.

In a post on Reddit, the 27-year-old explained that she’s very close to her 29-year-old cousin. “We grew up like sisters,” she wrote. But while they’re emotionally close, she says her cousin has never been particularly responsible when it comes to cars. Over the last four years, her cousin has totaled two vehicles — one due to speeding and another because she ignored basic maintenance.

Recently, her cousin’s current car ended up in the shop, leaving her without transportation. Since then, she’s been asking various family members for rides. The poster says she’s tried to help when possible, picking her up or dropping her off when it fit her schedule.

Last week, though, her cousin pushed things further and asked to borrow her car “for a few days.”

She says she turned her down as gently as she could. Her own car is fully paid off, it’s the only major asset she owns outright, and she doesn’t have the money to cover major repairs if something goes wrong. But her cousin didn’t take the refusal well, accusing her of “acting brand new,” especially since she knows the cousin is trying to hold onto her new job.

Things escalated when their aunt got involved. According to the poster, her aunt called and told her she should “have more compassion,” insisting that “family helps family” and accusing her of setting her cousin up to fail by not handing over the keys.

From the poster’s perspective, there’s a clear line between giving someone occasional rides and turning her car into what she jokingly described as “Enterprise Rent-A-Car.” She feels she’s allowed to protect the one big purchase she’s worked hard for, even if that makes life more difficult for her cousin in the short term.

Now she’s turned to Reddit to ask whether she’s wrong for refusing to lend out her car, even if it makes her cousin’s commute more complicated.

Since sharing her story, hundreds of commenters have weighed in. One person summed it up bluntly: “Uber is her new best friend.”

Another commenter suggested redirecting the aunt’s criticism back toward actual support: “Tell your aunt that you aren’t setting her up to fail because her new job has nothing to do with you. But your aunt can help her out by paying for her car repairs and your cousin can pay her back from the salary she gets from her new job.”