Woman Says Her Boyfriend Is Mad She Befriended His Ex-Girlfriend — but She Refuses to Block Her

A woman is facing tension with her boyfriend after forming an unlikely friendship with his ex-girlfriend.

On Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” forum, she explained that her boyfriend had an on-and-off relationship with his ex for about six months, which ended on “bad terms.” Despite knowing this history, she said she refuses to block his ex after they connected on social media.

The Redditor shared that she’s been with her boyfriend for five months, but only recently did his ex view her TikTok.

“I followed her and she added me on Snap,” she wrote. “We’ve just been talking, nothing about him, we just get along.”

Her boyfriend reportedly became furious when he discovered their budding online friendship.

“He found out about this and got really mad and kept telling me to block her, but I refused and now he’s mad at me,” she said, before asking, “[Am I the a——]?”

The post drew a flood of comments, with many pointing out that while her boyfriend can’t control who she talks to, it might feel inappropriate to engage with his ex.

“Personally, I think it’s a little weird to be friends with your significant other’s ex, but that’s me,” one commenter said. “If I asked my partner to block my ex and they didn’t, I’m not sure they would remain a partner. Not a cheating issue, a relationship boundary issue. NAH [not the a——] but think about boundaries and if it was the other way around.”

“You might be the AH [a——]. Something may have happened between his ex and him that is hurtful and that he is too embarrassed to talk about,” another wrote. “Are you really that invested in being friends with his ex? It’s not a matter of whether you are an AH. It’s a matter of whether this is a battle worth fighting.”

“You’re allowed to choose who you talk to. That said, I can see why he feels uncomfortable, since she’s his ex and their history is messy,” a third added.

“It comes down to trust: if you’re only chatting as friends and not talking about him, then it’s not shady on your part,” the same commenter continued. “He doesn’t get to control your friendships, but it’s worth having a calm talk about boundaries so both of you feel respected.”

Another perspective read: “A person meets a stranger online. That stranger has deeply hurt their partner. The person with the hurt partner actively chooses to pursue a friendship with the stranger who hurt their partner. You had no prior friendship with this woman. It’s weird to believe that your boyfriend would be okay with this. YTA [you are the a——].”