Woman Secretly Planning to Move Out After Her Wedding. Her Controlling Parents Think She’ll Come Back After the Honeymoon

A young woman turned to the Reddit community seeking advice after making a tough decision about her future and her relationship with her family.

In a heartfelt post that quickly gained empathy and support, the 23-year-old shared the emotional burden of keeping her plans to move out with her fiancé hidden from her highly controlling parents.

“My parents are extremely protective and controlling,” she explained. “Growing up, I was never allowed to have friends over or visit theirs without a parent present.” She described her upbringing as suffocating, leaving her little room for independence or personal growth.

Since 2020, she and her 22-year-old fiancé have quietly been working toward a shared goal. “We’ve been secretly saving half of every paycheck in a separate account, and now we’re finally close to reaching our target,” she revealed.

Their plan is to move out together after their wedding, but her parents expect something else. “They believe I should return to their house after the honeymoon and live with them again,” she said. This expectation isn’t just a suggestion — it’s something they demand.

Part of the pressure stems from how her parents view her capabilities, especially compared to her 22-year-old brother who has autism spectrum disorder. “They seem to think because he requires a lot of care, I must as well, which isn’t true,” she clarified. “I have ADHD, but I am fully capable of taking care of myself.”

She painted a clear picture of her independence and resilience. “I’ve held the same home nursing job for four years and managed multiple jobs during the pandemic while finishing school online,” she shared, noting that at one point she juggled three jobs simultaneously.

Despite her efforts to prove she’s ready, her parents remain unconvinced. “They believe I’m not prepared for independence and will struggle without them,” she wrote. But her history shows otherwise.

Now, with their dream close at hand, she’s trying to focus on the life she and her fiancé have quietly built. “We have a plan, and we’re almost there,” she said. “We want to start a family, have a beautiful wedding, and live without my parents interfering.”

Still, guilt and fear weigh on her. “I have some guilt and a bit of fear that maybe I’m so focused on independence that I’m missing the bigger picture,” she admitted, questioning whether keeping her plans secret is the right choice.

In a follow-up comment, she shared that she’s already preparing discreetly. “I’m only bringing what I’ve paid for and sneaking things over to my fiancé’s place during ‘sleepovers,’” she explained. “His family doesn’t mind since they’re compensated for the inconvenience and I bring apology treats when I have stuff stored there.”

While she understands the risks of secrecy, she worries about the emotional fallout from telling her parents. “I feel like if I tell them, they’ll try to sabotage our plans or guilt me into staying,” she said. “I want to surprise them with the news when we’re ready to move out.”

One commenter encouraged her to stay cautious: “Do not tell them, they will actively try to sabotage you. Be prepared to lose many of your belongings unless you have a way to slowly sneak them out. Also, prepare to go low or no contact once you move out to protect yourself.”

The woman acknowledged this advice, writing, “I’ve been reminding myself that no matter what happens with my family, I have to follow the plan or I’ll never leave.” Her words capture both the heartbreak and resolve fueling her decision.

With a wedding ahead and a fresh start on the horizon, she clings to her vision of a future defined by freedom and peace. She hopes that one day, she won’t have to defend her right to live her own life.

For now, she’s focused on what truly matters — building a life with the person she loves, on her own terms. “I want to enjoy my marriage, my journey into motherhood, and my life as an adult,” she writes, even if it means giving up the approval she may never receive.