Woman’s Future In-Laws Are ‘Fuming’ Over How She and Her Fiancé Told Them About Their Engagement: ‘Ruined This Memory’

A woman says her future in-laws are “fuming” and feel “like chopped liver” because of how she and her fiancé shared their engagement news.

She shared her story on Reddit’s “Am I the A——“ forum. She explained that she got engaged a couple of weeks ago. The day after she and her fiancé picked up the ring, they went to an event with her brother. They found out that her mother, who lives far away, would be at the event, so they thought it would be a good time to tell their family about the engagement.

The bride knew her future mother-in-law “has a habit of blowing things up into arguments,” so she and her fiancé decided to visit his parents’ house that same day to share the news. This way, they hoped both families would feel treated equally. However, the groom’s father was at work, so they could only tell the mother.

“She seemed very happy and congratulated us. We offered to call my fiancé’s father as well, but his mother said he was busy all day,” the OP (original poster) wrote. They planned to tell him in person later.

Later that night, the groom’s mother called her son, saying she “couldn’t keep the secret any longer,” and asked if she could tell her husband. “We said sure, go ahead. We thought this would be fine, and then we would plan something later with all four of us to celebrate,” the OP recalled.

But the next day, things went differently. The OP said her in-laws were “fuming.”

“They said we treated them unequally, didn’t consider their feelings, and massively disrespected them. We only had one chance to tell them, and now we ruined this memory forever,” she wrote. “Seeing each other’s reactions was the most important part, and we took that away from them. They feel the engagement news is more important than the wedding itself.”

Her fiancé’s father even said he felt “like chopped liver” about how he learned the news.

“We both acknowledged that we could have planned it better and apologized, but ultimately the news was good, and we didn’t mean any harm. We tried to keep it fair,” the OP explained. “His mother is still furious, saying we are selfish, immature, and had no empathy.”

“She has threatened to cut all contact and asked for space to process the immense pain we caused her,” she added, asking Redditors for advice.

Most commenters agreed the couple wasn’t in the wrong and said the in-laws were overreacting.

“You shared happy news the best way you could with the time and circumstances you had. Their extreme reaction says more about them than about you,” one person wrote. “You already apologized for not planning it better, which is more than enough. They’re making a joyful moment about themselves, and that’s unfair to you and your fiancé.”

“Their reactions are ABSURD. Totally overblown, overdramatic, and plain weird,” another commenter said. “Knowing what you know about them, it might have been better to find a way to tell both families at once or at another time when you could control the situation more.”

Some readers also warned the OP to be careful about future family conflicts.

“I hope your eyes are open to the family you’re marrying into,” one person wrote. Another added, “Be 100% sure you are ready for what that really means. This type of nonsense from [in-laws] is what wears on you over the years.”

“If you don’t resolve this while creating boundaries, these in-laws will continue to make your lives about them,” someone else noted.