Wife Gets ‘Really Upset’ When Husband Asks to Attend Wedding Solo

A man is questioning whether he was wrong to ask his wife if he could take a solo trip overseas for his best friend’s wedding after she reacted with anger.

In a post shared to Reddit’s “Am I The A——?” forum, the man explained that he asked his wife if he could take an eight-hour flight to attend his best friend’s wedding — without her or their two children, ages 7 and 4.

“I have a VERY close friend that will have his wedding next year. He invited me as one of the groomsmen, and of course my whole family,” he wrote.

The groom, along with four other friends the man described as his “closest brothers,” will be attending the celebration abroad.

Just three years earlier, the same group had taken an “all-boys trip” together as part of a bucket list experience — something his wife had approved at the time.

“Due to financial and circumstances, we cannot as a family attend,” he explained. “So I then asked if I can go by myself instead and spend max of 4–5 days overseas to celebrate with them.”

According to the post, his wife became upset. “She [asked] how I could even think of leaving my whole family over a wedding and that I’m putting the guilt on her,” he said. “And that I should have realized by myself that it was a NO from the get go. Lastly, she said that I should be a ‘father’ and be done with my ‘bachelorhood.’”

“I’m a single earner but able to afford more than enough for them,” he added. “I don’t drink. I don’t do drugs. I don’t womanize. I just work and go home and the only real friends I have are those boys overseas. Now we’re not talking for two days and I don’t know if I’m the a—— for even asking.”

He later clarified that the family already has a trip to Japan planned for two months from now, but they have “no trusted sitter,” and his wife prefers not to travel alone or take girls’ trips, which she considers “too costly or non-necessity.”

“I can take my wife and even the whole family, but she refuses as it’s ‘costly,’” he said. “I can afford it but in her definition it’s a very non-essential cost.”

The Reddit community quickly weighed in, suggesting that the issue may run deeper than just a single trip.

“You mention the trip three years ago. Your wife would have had a 4-year-old and 1-year-old,” one commenter wrote. “Is it possible that she struggled then whilst you were away and feels that you haven’t listened to her on this if you’re asking for another trip like it?”

Another person pointed out that the timing and context might be adding tension. “It might be that the fact you want to tack on extra time to celebrate beyond the wedding is not being considerate of what that means for her at home with the children,” they said. “Does she get to go on trips like this with her friends, alone? If not, the fact you’ve already had a big boys’ trip and this would be another one might be the reason.”

Others suggested that the wife’s reaction may stem from feeling financially or emotionally unsupported. “It may also be the context — ‘we can’t afford this so I want to do it alone so I don’t miss out’ may feel like you’re not being a team player and you’re prioritizing your own leisure time at the expense of the family,” one user noted.

Some commenters were more sympathetic toward the husband. “You’re [not the a——], but your wife is bordering on it,” one person wrote. “If my husband wanted to do this, I’d let him and encourage it. And I’ve been to several weddings by myself while he stayed home with the kids. Don’t miss your very close friend’s special event if you can at all help it.”

Another added, “It sounds like there are other issues at play. When someone overreacts to a situation, there are likely other factors involved. I think you need to sit down with her and have a talk, find out what is really bothering her.”