Woman’s Mother-in-Law Moves in During Her Pregnancy, Says She Is ‘Not Making My Pregnancy Pleasant’

A woman who is expecting her first child says what began as a hopeful arrangement with her mother-in-law has quickly turned into a stressful living situation.

Posting her story on Reddit, she explained that she had only met her husband’s mother five times before she moved in, as the older woman had been living in China.

“I have become advanced in spoken Chinese and spent years studying both the language and the culture,” she wrote. “I’m pregnant, giving my son a Chinese middle name, and raising him in the culture. My MIL will be caring for him when I go back to work. In exchange, she lives with us and we cover all her expenses.”

However, the reality has been far from the supportive experience she envisioned. The woman says her mother-in-law has made her pregnancy “unpleasant” with a constant stream of unsolicited advice and superstitions.

“She is always telling me I shouldn’t drink cold water or eat cold food because I’ll kill my baby,” she said. “She thinks he’ll die if I’m too happy or too emotional. I’ve gently told her these comments make me anxious, but it hasn’t stopped. It’s especially triggering because I’ve had a miscarriage before — and she knows that.”

She also noted that while she tries to speak Chinese with her, her mother-in-law often interrupts conversations between her and her husband to speak to him in a dialect she doesn’t understand. “I know she’s talking about me because I recognize my name in it,” she added.

On top of that, the woman says her mother-in-law frequently invites herself along on her dates with her husband, leaving the couple with little time alone.

“My husband doesn’t want to be the middle guy, which I respect, but I wish he would stand up for me or set boundaries,” she wrote. “I’m empathetic to her situation, but I’m grieving the pregnancy I wanted to have. This is affecting my mental health and my marriage. It feels like nothing I want matters.”

Other Reddit users encouraged her to take action. One commenter advised, “Let yourself be the bad guy. Step into your own power. Don’t be polite when she makes weird comments. Tell her you’d prefer to go on your date alone. You’ll feel a lot better once you stand up for yourself — better even than if your husband did it (which he should do anyway).”