30-Year-Old Who Has Never Lived on Her Own Says Her Mom Is ‘Pissed’ She’s Moving Out — Wonders If She Should Stay

A 30-year-old woman is feeling conflicted about leaving her family home after her mother reacted negatively to her plans to move out.

In a post on Reddit’s Am I The A—— forum, the woman shared that she’s always lived with her mother and older brother, despite earning a “great salary” that could easily cover living on her own. However, she said her mom “guilts” her every time she brings up the idea of moving out.

Earlier this year, she began looking for a place to rent, but the search was delayed when her mother suffered a workplace injury and stopped working, and her grandfather passed away.

Recently, after years on a property management company’s waitlist, she was offered a two-bedroom apartment in the complex she’d always wanted.

“I immediately told them yes and texted my mom in excitement,” the woman wrote. “Needless to say, she’s pissed. Like literally isn’t speaking to me.”

Her mother is currently waiting for a settlement related to her injury and has been told she may need to apply for disability. Meanwhile, her brother lives on a “fixed income,” leaving the woman as the main financial contributor in their household.

While the family doesn’t have a mortgage because her brother owns their home, she explained that once she moves out, he’ll need to cover groceries and utilities.

“I have every intention of continuing to pay the [other] bills I already cover — like Starlink internet, water, and phone — until my mom either gets her settlement or starts receiving disability,” she said. “She doesn’t know this is my plan because she immediately started giving me the cold shoulder rather than talk to me.”

Curious about others’ opinions, she asked Reddit: “AITA [am I the a——-] if I move out? Should I wait until she gets her settlement or disability? If I wait, it’s unlikely I’ll find another unit as nice as the one available now.”

She added that apartments in that complex “never stay available for long,” especially with her property management company’s long waiting list.

The post quickly drew hundreds of responses, with most commenters encouraging her to take the apartment and move forward with her life.

“Take the apartment and enjoy your life,” one person wrote. “It’s very kind of you to continue helping your mom after you move out, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up this wonderful opportunity to have a place of your own. NTA [not the a——].”

“NTA, this sounds like a dream apartment and you’ll regret not taking the chance,” another said. “If your mom doesn’t want to talk to you, I’d reconsider paying the bills.”

A third added, “NTA. It’s unfortunate your mom is going through that, but there will always be a reason for you to stay. Prioritizing your own needs doesn’t make you a bad person. They’re adults — they’ll manage without you living there.”