Woman Tells Friend She’s Done Listening to Her ‘Situationship’ Issues After Her Advice Is Ignored

A woman says she’s reached her breaking point after repeatedly hearing her friend complain about a confusing and uncomfortable “situationship” with a man she met on a dating app.

The OP (original poster) shared on Reddit’s AITAH (Am I the a—–) forum that she became close to a 25-year-old co-worker a few months ago. Her friend met a man on Hinge, and after meeting him in person, she initially decided they were better off as friends.

According to OP, she warned her friend not to go on an overnight drive with him because he gave off “weird vibes.” The friend ignored the warning.

“When she came back, she told us the guy made her uncomfortable — like he was touching her face, playing with her cheeks, and trying to make out with her even after she said no. She even said, ‘You guys were right about him,’ ” the OP wrote.

Despite the warning signs, her friend went to see the man again. When she returned, she announced that they were now dating.

“At this point, I’m honestly so done hearing about it,” the OP admitted. “I’ve tried to be supportive, I’ve listened to her vent, I’ve warned her and she just ignores it and keeps running back to the same guy who made her uncomfortable.”

She continued, “It’s exhausting and I don’t even know why she keeps coming to me about it when she clearly doesn’t want to listen. Would I be the a—— if I told her I don’t want to hear about him anymore? And if not, how do I say it nicely without making things awkward at work?”

Responses from Reddit users reassured the woman that she would not be wrong to step back from the conversations.

“NTA [not the a——]. If she talks about him, don’t say anything and change the subject,” one Redditor commented. “If she keeps bringing him up, say something like, ‘You know how I feel about this guy, I’ve repeatedly warned you about him, and I am asking you to please not talk to me about him anymore. Thank you.’ Hopefully, she will get the message.”

Another user suggested that OP should distance herself emotionally from the situation altogether.

They argued that becoming close with co-workers often leads to unnecessary drama and added that OP’s friend may be seeking the emotional reaction she gets from sharing the updates.

“Quite frankly, all you have to do is pay her dirt,” the Redditor wrote. “What this means is: she’s getting an emotional payoff from you delving in and giving advice, knowing full well she’s not going to take it — she just wants your attention, it makes her feel wanted and loved. If you start giving one-word responses, she won’t get paid.”

They advised OP to remain consistent even when the friend tries to escalate: “She’ll escalate more; you just remain consistent, and she will eventually stop telling you about it. Notice how these emotionally starved and leechy people at work only target 1 or 2 people? That’s because everybody else tunes them out.”

The comment ended with a warning: “But something tells me after a while you’re going to chime in again and be right back in the same situation.”