Engaged Couple’s Future Gets ‘Complicated’ When Fiancé Suggests Future Wife Leave Her Estate to His Son from a Previous Relationship

A woman who recently got engaged is wondering whether she’s being unfair for not wanting her fiancé’s son to inherit her estate.

In a post on the AITA subreddit, the 37-year-old wrote that she and her 42-year-old fiancé have started talking seriously about how to combine finances and plan for the future. Her fiancé has a 13-year-old son from a previous relationship, and he also comes from significant family wealth — including property in an expensive community — that he is expected to inherit.

She said she’s comfortable with the financial boundaries they’ve discussed so far. In her view, that family inheritance should ultimately pass to his son.

“Most of that wealth will eventually go to his son when my fiancé passes, and I’m okay with that because he’s the one with the direct claim to the inheritance,” she wrote. “In terms of finances, I’m comfortable with the arrangement we have. I don’t want half of his wealth. He offered it, but I don’t feel like I have a claim to it. I’ve agreed that I’ll be taken care of in terms of housing and fixed expenses when he dies.”

The conflict, she explained, began when her fiancé suggested her own assets should be left to his son as well.

“I don’t want that. I’ve worked hard for everything I have, and I want it to go to my siblings, not his son,” she wrote, adding that her three siblings may have children in the future and earn less than $50,000 a year.

She told the community that she doesn’t have children and doesn’t feel her fiancé’s son should automatically inherit her wealth — especially since the couple won’t be having children together.

“I know it’s a touchy subject, but it’s been weighing on me, and I’m wondering if I’m being unreasonable,” she wrote.

Commenters weighed in with a range of perspectives. One person said her feelings were valid, but suggested adjusting how she frames the discussion so it doesn’t become centered on the child.

“You’re not wrong to feel this way. But don’t focus your rationale on his son,” the commenter wrote. “Say ‘with my inheritance my future nieces and nephews might be able to afford to buy a house or go to college — so I want to give them that gift. Otherwise they are unlikely to ever have that option.’ ”

They added that positioning it as support for her siblings’ future families could help avoid a “fairness” debate that stays locked on only one child’s needs.

In an update, the woman said she plans to seek outside help for estate planning, and that her fiancé supports the idea.

“He is in support of this and believes we can get to an agreement,” she wrote. “We have operated independently with our finances until the last year, so we have some work to do on getting on the same page. Wish us luck!”