Family That Nanny Worked for Stopped Paying Her After the Parents Divorced. Now She Has to Figure Out How to Get Her Cash

A nanny is looking for guidance after finding herself in an uncomfortable financial situation with a parent she’s known for years.

In a post shared on the babysitting subreddit, the original poster (OP) explained that she had worked as a full-time nanny for a family until 2021, when she transitioned into another full-time career. Even after changing jobs, she occasionally helped out with “random date nights and weekends.”

Recently, the parents went through a difficult divorce, leaving the mother struggling financially after also losing her job. “I have been asked by the mom to babysit here and there recently,” OP wrote.

However, OP said that for the past two times she’s cared for the children, the mom hasn’t paid her. She added that she’s scheduled to stay overnight on an upcoming Saturday but feels there’s “no way” she can do that without pay.

“A part of me feels bad because she doesn’t have much to give, but I’d be happy with literally anything at this point,” OP explained. “I never agreed to watch them for free. She has mentioned in the past, ‘you’ll be paid, of course,’ but never followed through with payment.”

While OP described having a close relationship with the family, she said she couldn’t continue babysitting without compensation because her “time is valuable.” She turned to the Reddit community for advice on how to address the issue in a kind but firm way.

Many commenters encouraged her to ask for the money she’s owed directly. One user said she doesn’t need to worry about being overly “empathetic” when it comes to getting paid.

“You’re doing your job, and she needs to be doing hers by paying you,” they wrote. “Her financial situation is not your problem. If she couldn’t afford to pay you, she shouldn’t have asked you to work.”

Another person suggested reaching out before the next scheduled shift to ask for payment upfront.

“Give her a heads-up that you’re looking forward to Saturday,” they advised. “But you also need a predictable income, so see if she can pay for the babysitting days you’ve already done beforehand. Let her know that if not, you may need to find alternative work that day.”

Others recommended treating the situation just like any other job and setting clear boundaries for future arrangements.

“Tell her you understand things have changed, but you also have bills to pay,” one user said. “You can’t watch the kids again without being paid upfront when you walk in the door.”