First-Time Mom Gets Pregnant with Twins at 21. Now Her Mom Is Making Her Feel ‘Guilty’ for Wanting to Take a Break

After becoming a mom to twins at 21, one woman is opening up about feeling torn between caring for her babies and needing a short break for herself.

The original poster (OP) shared on Reddit that her pregnancy with twins was unplanned. She explained that the babies’ father was absent during the pregnancy and hadn’t originally intended to be involved once they were born.

Since the twins arrived, though, she said their dad has started coming by about once a week and has even helped with some nighttime care. OP has been walking him through their routine and easing him into solo time with the girls. Because they’re no longer together, she wants him to feel confident parenting on his own in case he decides to have them part-time in the future.

Recently, her ex offered to take over for a night so she could go out for a few hours. OP said she hasn’t seen her friends in almost a year and was genuinely excited about the chance to feel like herself again for an evening. But when she mentioned her plans to her mom, the reaction was not what she expected.

According to OP, her mom told her she’s “a mom now” and needs to “act like it,” insisting that her “young adult years are behind me.” The conversation left OP feeling like wanting to go out and be 21 again for just one night somehow made her a “horrible mom.” She also noted that she wasn’t planning on getting drunk and had already prepared frozen breast milk for the twins.

“I don’t want to be irresponsible or a bad mom, I already have enough guilt for the way they were conceived, but I would really just like a break for a couple hours,” she wrote.

She turned to “seasoned parents” online for perspective, asking if it was irresponsible to want a few hours away from her babies.

Many commenters reassured her that taking a short break doesn’t make her a bad parent at all — especially when the babies are safe with their father.

“You’re allowed a night out if your babies are safe and taken care of while you’re out. Their dad will be with them. Your mom is being overbearing,” one person wrote.

Another commenter emphasized that it’s healthy to have a life beyond parenthood.

“You are allowed to have a life still outside of being a parent. Go out and have fun!” they said. They also offered a tip about breastfeeding and alcohol, advising her to pump right before drinking and, when it’s time to pump again, use that milk carefully or mix it with other stored milk if she’s concerned about alcohol levels. “Have fun girl! You deserve it.”

A third commenter agreed that OP’s mom was “being ridiculous” and pointed out how much OP has already taken on.

“Your mom is being ridiculous. She sounds like she expects you to be punished for getting pregnant and that’s just not how life works. You’ve been doing an incredible job, honestly the fact alone that you went into this WITH TWINS and are basically 100% independently managing your life is impressive,” they wrote. “But even if you weren’t you would still deserve a break. Parents want and deserve breaks no matter what their parenting situation is.”

They suggested that, if OP wants to ease her mom’s fears, she could gradually increase the father’s solo time with the twins while OP is working or running errands and then share that plan with her mom to show that the babies are in capable hands.