Man Asks His Mother-in-Law Not to Give His Kids Any Christmas Gifts After Years of ‘Awful’ Presents — Then She ‘Loses It’

A father is questioning whether he crossed a line after telling his mother-in-law not to buy Christmas presents for his children this year, following years of what he describes as “awful” gifts and increasingly tense holiday behavior.

The man shared his story on Reddit’s AITA forum, explaining that he’s been with his wife for 17 years, and together they have a 5-year-old son and a 2-year-old daughter. In all that time, he said, his mother-in-law has consistently missed the mark when it comes to Christmas presents.

According to him, she asks everyone for gift lists every year — and then ignores them. She insists she knows what they’ll like better than they do, and chooses her own ideas instead.

She also tends to latch onto one “theme” and stick with it for years. He said his wife and sister-in-law still get presents based on things they liked as teenagers, and that after he and his wife once mentioned needing things for the house, they’ve been getting towels every Christmas ever since.

He added that his mother-in-law is extremely competitive about gift-giving. When it was just adults, he says they tolerated it. But now that their children are involved, her behavior has become much harder to ignore.

The family spends Christmas morning alone together, then has relatives over in the evening. Two years ago, their son was thrilled with a new favorite toy from Santa and couldn’t wait to show his grandparents. The father says his mother-in-law immediately became jealous and tried to pull his attention away with her own presents. Throughout the day, he caught her hiding the Santa gift around the house.

Last year, things escalated. Before his grandmother arrived, their son started hiding his new toys. When his dad asked why, the boy said he didn’t want his grandmother to take them. Later, when she handed over her gifts, she complained that he wasn’t “excited enough” until the boy’s mother stepped in and shut it down.

The dad said he’s worried his kids will start to dread Christmas instead of looking forward to it. His daughter is still too young to notice what’s happening, but it’s clearly affecting his son. So this year, he suggested to his wife that they ask her mother not to bring any gifts at all.

Over Thanksgiving, he and his wife sat down with her parents and explained their concerns. He says his mother-in-law “lost it,” accusing them of “ruining her few Christmases left with her grandbabies.” She then said she wasn’t sure they’d be coming for Christmas at all and ignored the couple for the rest of the night.

Now, he’s second-guessing himself and turned to Reddit to ask if he was wrong to tell her not to bring presents.

In the comments, many users focused less on the gifts themselves and more on the grandmother’s behavior.

One commenter admitted they were initially ready to call him the one at fault — until they read about her hiding the boy’s toys.

They wrote that the real problem isn’t the quality of the gifts, but the fact that the grandmother is overstepping and taking the child’s belongings. They argued that he should have confronted her the first time she did it and set firm boundaries, adding that everyone involved bears some responsibility for letting it go on so long. Their advice: clearly tell her to stop taking the kids’ toys, because that behavior is not normal.

Another commenter sided fully with the dad and suggested that his in-laws skipping Christmas might actually be a blessing in disguise. They called him “not the a–hole” and urged him not to cave to emotional manipulation. They even suggested doing a separate pre-Christmas visit with the grandparents so the kids can enjoy time with them — and then have a peaceful Christmas Day focused on Santa and their parents.

That commenter also recommended quietly setting aside any unwanted gifts after the visit, putting them in a box or bag, and later dropping them off at a thrift store.

A third person agreed, emphasizing that Christmas should be fun and magical for children, not stressful. They said that if the grandmother can’t behave like an adult, then limiting her involvement — including telling her not to bring gifts — is a reasonable step. Still, they warned that she will likely continue trying to cause problems, no matter what rules are put in place.