Man Insists That Tween Stepsons Need to Pay for Their Own Haircuts — Despite Having ‘No Money’

A couple is at a crossroads over when their children should start paying for their own expenses.

A 35-year-old woman shared on Reddit that she and her 45-year-old husband have a blended family: she has two sons, aged 12 and 10, from a previous marriage, along with two younger children, ages 6 and 2, with her husband.

“To save money, I’ve taught myself to cut their hair,” she explains, adding that she also cuts her husband’s hair.

The problem, she says, is that her older sons have started requesting fades and other complex styles, which she feels unqualified to do.

“I’ve tried and failed, but they’re sweet and say, ‘It’s okay, mom. I like it.’ But honestly, they’re just being nice,” she shares.

With the new school year approaching, she told her husband she wanted to take the boys to a professional barbershop before classes begin.

“This led to a major argument. He thinks my boys are ungrateful and ‘high maintenance,’” she writes. “He says ‘the haircuts are good enough for me,’ meaning they should have the same attitude.”

She asked, “At what age can kids have their own opinions about their haircuts, clothes, or shoes?” He replied, “When they can pay for it themselves.”

As a stay-at-home mom, she feels trapped. She wants her children to feel confident—especially her eldest, who faces bullying—but also knows that cutting their hair at home saves the family money.

“Am I overreacting to think he’s being controlling?” she asked Reddit. “Of course, my 10- and 12-year-olds don’t have money for their own haircuts…”

In an update, the woman gave more background, explaining she and her husband previously separated because he didn’t get along with her oldest son.

“Their personalities just don’t mesh. I left before because I didn’t think it was good for my son’s mental health,” she shares. “We got back together and things improved, but it’s still not great. I’m not sure what to do.”

She also mentioned her ex-husband remains involved in her sons’ lives and occasionally provides child support.

“Bio dad is a bare-minimum parent—sees them every other weekend, sometimes less,” she adds. “He resents paying child support and won’t cover anything extra.”

Commenters overwhelmingly supported her, saying she wasn’t overreacting and was right to prioritize her kids’ needs.

“Your responsibility is to your children. You gave up your independence for a man who doesn’t get along with your kids, then gave him his own,” one commenter wrote. “Get a job or find a way to pay for what teens need that he won’t provide. Stand up for your children!”

“Your husband is being ridiculous! They’re minors and basic needs like haircuts should be covered by their parents so they can feel confident at school,” another said.

In another update, the woman shared plans to start a Facebook page selling sourdough and baked goods to earn money.

“I don’t expect this will go over well, but it’s worth trying so I can save for me and my kids,” she wrote, adding that her boys will definitely be getting back-to-school haircuts.