Man Says He Doesn’t Want to Marry Girlfriend of 10 Years Because She’s ‘Bad with Money’

A 29-year-old man says he doesn’t want to legally marry his longtime girlfriend because of the way she handles money.

He shared his story on Reddit in a post titled “[Am I the A——] for not wanting to legally marry my GF of 10 years because she is bad with money?”

The man explained that he and his 28-year-old girlfriend have been together for ten years. Right now, they live apart since he is completing a Ph.D. program in another state.

“I do love her and want to have a family with her,” he wrote.

The main issue, he said, is money. He has a large amount of student debt and won’t be earning a steady income for at least four more years. Meanwhile, his girlfriend earns about $60,000 a year and lives with her parents, with food being her only expense.

Despite this difference, he said she still expects him to pay for dinners and dates whenever he visits their hometown. According to him, these visits cost between $500 and $1,000 each time.

When he explained that he couldn’t keep covering all the costs, she became upset and told him he doesn’t prioritize her.

He also said he recently told her that while he would be open to a religious marriage ceremony, he does not want to legally marry her because of her financial habits.

“It just seems like a dumb choice to financially bind myself to someone [who] acts like they have no financial sense,” he added.

Most commenters sided with the man and urged him to think carefully about whether this relationship could work long term.

One person wrote, “I’m a woman, and I would run very far away from this woman. Save yourself a divorce.”

Another said, “A good relationship should be a partnership where both people bring something to the table. OP’s girlfriend is making this relationship transactional. A good partner would at least offer to do cheap dates and split the cost.”

Another commenter added, “She’s prioritizing stupid and obsolete societal norms over her relationship with him and his own well-being. She’s a gold digger even though she’s the one holding the gold.”

But some people felt the man was also being unfair.

One user explained, “[It’s] not fair to keep her around if you don’t see marriage in the future. You’re wasting both of your prime dating years. Cut bait and find someone who more aligns with your economic values. For her sake and yours.”