Michelle Obama Describes Her and Barack’s Romantic Date Nights in the White House vs. Now

Decades into marriage, Michelle Obama says she and her husband, Barack Obama, still make time for each other — even if she can’t always remember exactly how long it’s been.

“We’ve been married 32, 33 [years]… I always forget. Sorry, honey,” the former first lady, 61, said with a grin during a recent interview. It’s been 33 years, but for her, what truly matters is how they spend their time together.

“When we’re both happy about date night, we’re at home. We are not getting dressed,” she explained of their cozy evenings. “We just have a nice dinner, candles lit, music, we talk.”

They make a conscious effort to save conversation for those moments. “We don’t talk for the whole day, because we’re in the house together all day, right? We work from home. So when we are going to have a really special night, it’s like, ‘Don’t talk to me. Save it for dinner.’”

Before date night begins, Barack, 64, is usually the one to break the silence. “He’ll be like, ‘Did you talk to the girls?’” she said, referring to their daughters Sasha, 24, and Malia, 27. “I did, but we’re not going to talk about it until date night.”

Sometimes, the couple goes out. “We go out for dinners in D.C. or wherever,” Michelle said. But she admits their outings tend to be brief. “I am too old. I can’t do dinner and a movie. I will fall asleep in the movie. So it’s like, ‘Let’s pick one.’”

It’s a big change from what their “date nights” looked like during their eight years in the White House. In her new coffee table book, The Look — co-written with longtime stylist Meredith Koop and out Nov. 4 — Michelle shares that formal state dinners often doubled as date nights.

“For those black-tie events, that was like our wedding every time,” she said. “You felt like the belle of the ball. With each year, I got a little riskier — my team and I tried different things.”

Part of the magic, she explained, was getting ready for her husband. “You’re getting all dolled up for your man,” she said. “There was an unspoken ritual — he never knew, until I walked out ready, what I was wearing. That’s the romance, those little moments in this crazy world, where we could look at each other and go, ‘You’re cute.’ Then we’d walk downstairs to a barrage of press, lights, and cameras, and it’s like, ‘Just stay in this moment. It’s really just us. This is nice.’”