Mom Changes the Locks After Her Adult Son Trashes Her Home and Abandons Her Cats

A mother turned to Reddit for guidance after a family fallout left her questioning a tough decision: changing the locks on a house she owns.

In her post, the woman said her 25-year-old son had been living in her home with his partner for two years while she lived in another city. During that time, she said she continued paying the mortgage and household bills. Although she asked him to contribute rent, she wrote that “he never did.”

She explained that earlier this year, she asked her son to take over the electricity and internet bills, which he agreed to do. According to her, he told her he wasn’t working because “he has anxiety and ADHD and his doctor wanted him to get his medication right.”

The mother added that her son’s partner had paid board occasionally during the first year, but she said that stopped once the couple began covering the utilities. “Once they took over the two bills of power and internet I said she didn’t have to anymore,” she wrote.

The home also housed two longtime family cats. She said her son had agreed to care for them, noting they were nine years old and considered family pets. “They were happy to look after them as they were family pets,” she wrote.

About four months before writing her post, the couple split, and her son stayed in the house alone. The mother said she flew down for a weekend to check on him and continued reaching out every few days afterward.

Later, she said her son told her he had started staying with his father because he felt lonely. She wrote that she asked whether he was still able to look after the house and the cats, and he told her yes—leading her to believe he was still spending time there.

Eventually, she learned he had moved out altogether, though she said he promised he would continue caring for the cats. After that, she wrote, he began ignoring her calls. Her younger son then contacted her with concerns about the house.

According to what she was told, the home had been left in poor condition and the cats weren’t being properly cared for. The mother wrote that her older son had blocked her “on everything.”

She said she and her partner drove 16 hours to pick up the pets—and what they found alarmed them. “When we arrived at my house the front door was unlocked, the back door was wide open, and there was litter and clothes everywhere,” she wrote.

Shaken by the situation, she decided to change the locks. “It was so upsetting for me because it’s my only asset,” she wrote, adding that she had been “living on the bare bones” to support her children.

Later, she said her son asked for his computer and desk to be collected through his brother. “He obviously doesn’t want my help,” she wrote, before asking Reddit the question at the center of her post: “Am I the asshole?”

In the comments, many people supported her, telling her she acted appropriately under the circumstances. One person wrote, “Good for you for changing the locks,” while another said her concerns and actions were “totally reasonable.”