Mom Pushes Back Against Husband’s Family Tradition of Cake-Smashing for Baby’s Birthday

A mother turned to Reddit for advice after a disagreement with her husband over their baby’s upcoming first birthday. She explained that her husband is “really adamant about pushing the baby’s face into the cake,” a tradition he grew up with, but one she strongly opposes.

The mom worries her son may not enjoy it, writing, “For one, the baby may laugh but he might also cry. Also, it’s his birthday and we shouldn’t be doing anything that he may not enjoy.” She said her little boy is sensitive, like most babies, and she doesn’t want him ending up in tears on what should be a happy day.

Her husband, who is Mexican, grew up with this being a tradition at every birthday. But she pointed out the irony in his insistence, since “he himself told me he ALWAYS hated it as a kid and it made him angry.” To her, that feels like enough reason not to pass it on.

She admitted she doesn’t really understand why people find it funny. “I get it’s a family tradition but it’s not something I’m comfortable with and I don’t understand what’s so funny about it,” she said. To her, forcing cake into her baby’s face feels more cruel than celebratory.

At the same time, she acknowledged the situation is complicated. “My son isn’t just mine and technically this is part of his family’s tradition on his father’s side so [I don’t know],” she wrote. Even though she wants to protect her child’s feelings, she recognizes her husband’s cultural traditions are also important.

Still, she has been clear with her husband that she doesn’t want it to happen. “I told him if he does do it, I will be angry and that he needs to tell his family that they aren’t allowed to do it themselves either,” she explained.

Her concern grew when she overheard him talking about buying two cakes — one small one just for the baby — which made her suspect he might try to sneak the tradition in anyway.

Her post ended with her asking the Reddit community if she was “just being a jerk and making a big deal of nothing.” She emphasized that the issue wasn’t about rejecting tradition for the sake of it, but about protecting her child from something that could be upsetting or humiliating. She said she plans to talk to her husband again before the birthday to remind him of her feelings.

The comments filled quickly with support for her. One user wrote, “I don’t understand why your husband is so eager to do this if he hated it when it was done to him. As the saying goes, tradition is peer pressure from dead people, and I can’t see why this one is so precious that he’d do what he hated as a child, and anger his wife.”

The mother later added in a reply that the issue made her “blood boil,” especially because her son has already been through so much, including time in the NICU and multiple surgeries. “He doesn’t need anything else to be upset over,” she said.

As the birthday approaches, she remains firm: her son’s happiness comes first.