Mom Reveals the One Question She Asked Her Daughter That Changed the Way She Thinks About Christmas Gifts

When it came time to plan Christmas for her kids this year, Andrea Dahms decided to really listen to what stuck with them from past holidays.

In a now-viral video, Dahms can be heard asking her 13-year-old daughter, Brinley, to name three gifts she received last Christmas. Brinley pauses, asks if the presents have to be from her parents, and then admits she can’t remember any of them.

But when her mom asks if she remembers where the family went on vacation this year, Brinley doesn’t hesitate.
“Lake Tahoe,” she answers immediately.

In her caption, Dahms explains that she’s realized how important it is to give her kids something they’ll truly remember over time, rather than physical items that lose their appeal after a few months.

“They need your ✨presence✨ more than your presents. We are considering taking a trip this Christmas break instead of exchanging gifts. Would love your ideas!” she wrote.

Dahms says her family is still seriously thinking about making that switch from wrapped gifts to a shared experience. In the past, they’ve focused on toys, games and dolls for their kids, but she always noticed how their trips seemed to stand out in everyone’s memory.

“Road trips are the most memorable,” she explains of their vacations. “Once we drove from Kansas City, where we lived at the time, to visit family in New Jersey.”

Her “light-bulb moment” about gift-giving came last year, when she decided to ask her kids directly what they’d rather have.

“When we asked them last year if they would consider taking a trip together versus opening presents,” she recalls, “they immediately said yes.”

As for where they’ll go if they do opt for a trip this year, the destination is still up in the air.

“We would love to go somewhere in the mountains with snow,” Dahms says.

For other parents heading into the holiday season, she has one big piece of advice: try not to get overwhelmed by the pressure of buying the “perfect” gift.

“Don’t stress over gifts. Kids tend to remember how they felt more than the gift itself,” she says. At the same time, she’s quick to note that presents themselves aren’t the problem.

“Giving gifts is not a bad thing. Many kids remember gifts for years to come, especially if a lot of thought was put into it.”