Mom Upset Husband and Son Are Making Memories Without Her. His Blunt Response Results in the Silent Treatment

A father turned to the Reddit community seeking advice after a tense disagreement with his wife over how he spends time with their teenage son. The 39-year-old shared that he recently helped his 14-year-old dye his hair purple—a bonding experience that brought them both joy.

“Last weekend, I (39M) helped my son (14M) dye his hair purple,” he writes. “It was such a fun day, and I could tell how happy it made my boy.” For him, it wasn’t just about hair dye—it was about creating lasting memories together.

The father admits he didn’t inform his wife ahead of time, which sparked the argument they’re currently facing. But he says this conflict is just the latest in a series of challenges when it comes to her participation as a parent.

“My wife has been hands-off with our child for a while now,” he shares. “His soccer games, little road trips to nearby amusement parks, back-to-school shopping. She’s too busy with work, or too tired from work.”

Because of this, he stopped asking her to join in on activities. “Why would I waste my breath to have the same conversations on repeat?” he explains, saying he no longer waits for her when it comes to spending time with their son.

On the night of the hair dye, his wife broke down. “She started crying while we were talking, saying we were making all of these memories without her,” he recalls. In that moment, he voiced the frustration he had been holding back.

“I asked her what she expected me to do,” he says. “If we waited for her to make memories, we would be sitting in a dark room 100% of the time.” His words, though blunt, reflect the depth of his feelings about her absence in their son’s life.

He also notes that their child no longer looks to his mother for support. “My son isn’t even really comfortable with her anymore,” he confesses. “There is no ‘I can’t take you, go ask your mom.’ Now it’s, ‘I’m sorry I can’t take you, let me see if (friend) is free that day.’”

His honesty has left his wife silent. “My wife isn’t speaking to me now, and I’m wondering if I took it too far,” he admits. Still, he hoped “some brutal honesty would change something.”

Reflecting on the past, he says he once wanted more children, but those plans have faded. “I would’ve loved having more kids, but I guess it’s for the best now that she said no,” he writes, noting how the disconnect in their marriage has reshaped the future he once imagined.

He also shares more about their family setup. “I’m a stay-at-home dad,” he explains. The original plan was for him to rejoin the workforce once their son started school, but his wife’s promotion extended his time at home.

“Once she got the promotion, her hours increased, so that time was extended once again,” he says. In the meantime, he has taken on “all the household chores and general home-making tasks,” including cooking, cleaning, yard work, and grocery shopping.

While he has embraced the role, he has long been ready to return to work. “I do enjoy being a stay-at-home dad, but I’ve been ready and willing to rejoin the workforce for a decade now,” he explains. His wife, however, continues to refuse to reduce her hours.

“At this point, I will be getting a job when my son turns 16 and can get himself to and from school,” he says. “But my wife still refuses to cut her hours even if I get a job, and gets frustrated every time I bring it up.”

The father emphasizes that this lack of balance has become a major point of contention. “There is no point in me forcing my son to ride the bus or figure out a ride for himself if my wife still won’t make the effort or compromise in order to spend time with him,” he says. His words reveal both his dedication as a parent and his disappointment as a partner.

Commenters rallied around him, offering support and validation. One wrote, “Time doesn’t stop just because someone is busy. Everyone else’s lives keep on moving.”

Another urged his wife to address her regrets before it’s too late. “She’s feeling regret,” they commented. “I’d recommend her some therapy to deal with that and to help push her into changing before it’s too late for her to bond with her son at all.”

For now, the father continues to reflect on his own words, but he knows the memories he creates with his son are what truly matter.