Mother Shocked After Finding Out Randomly That Her Son Got Engaged to His Girlfriend: ‘Really Hurt’

A mother was left stunned after discovering her son’s engagement — not from him, but during a casual chat at her local grocery store.

The woman shared her story on the U.K.-based forum Mumsnet, explaining that her 26-year-old son lives in London with his partner of two and a half years, while she resides in Aberdeen, Scotland. Although they see each other twice a year and speak on the phone about once a month, she described their family group chat as “active” and thought they were well-connected.

After her son returned from a trip to Portugal, he shared plenty of photos with his partner in the group chat. Nothing seemed unusual — until the mom unexpectedly learned the real news during a shopping trip.

“We chatted and she said, ‘You must be over the moon at the news,’ ” the woman recalled of her conversation with another mother she ran into at the store. “I had no idea what she was talking about, which was very embarrassing — and then she told me that her son had mentioned my son and his partner were engaged.”

Shocked and confused, the mother texted her son about the engagement but received no response within the hour. She reasoned that he might be at a concert but noted that neither her husband nor her two other children had heard anything about a proposal either.

“AIBU [am I being unreasonable] to be really hurt and confused by this?” she asked on the forum. “He never uses his social media and his partner doesn’t have any of our family on hers, so there was no way for us to have found out incidentally.”

In a follow-up comment, she added that she hadn’t seen her son since his vacation and likely wouldn’t until January, as he was planning to spend Christmas with his partner’s family.

Responses to her post were largely sympathetic. Many commenters reassured her that her son might simply be waiting for the right moment to share the news in person.

“I think they’re saving the news for a big announcement — maybe when they have the rings, to tell you in person,” one user suggested. “Probably your son had discussed it with his friend beforehand, and the friend’s mom let it slip.”

Others, however, thought it was understandable for the mother to feel hurt.

“That’s incredibly painful,” one person wrote. “You shouldn’t have had to find out through someone else.”

Another commenter added, “How difficult would it have been to do a video call and share the happy news? It sounds like there’s some distance in your relationship — maybe that’s something to talk about when you next see him.”

Some commenters also speculated that communication goes both ways. “Sounds like you haven’t made the effort to see him, so he hasn’t made the effort to tell you,” one person noted.