New Mom Is ‘Having a Hard Time’ with Husband, Is ‘Not Helping’ with the Newborn 12 Days Postpartum

A new mother, just 12 days postpartum with her first child, says she is struggling with her husband and his family, who she feels are “not helping” during this critical time.

In a post shared to Reddit, the woman explained that her in-laws arrived almost immediately after she gave birth.

She recalled that most of his family showed up while she was “still bleeding with a catheter in,” and the rest came “the second we got to the postpartum room.”

“I was sitting in my diaper and gown still hooked up to an IV while they passed my baby around like a football,” she wrote, adding that they visited every day she was in the hospital and stayed for hours at a time.

Now that the couple is home, the visits haven’t stopped. “His family comes over every weekend,” she shared.

“Today my husband’s family came over again, this time it was his aunt and her husband, his cousin and her husband, plus two kids,” she continued. “After two hours I was exhausted and hinting for everyone to leave. My husband seemed more concerned with playing host than looking out for me.”

She also noted that her husband sleeps in until late morning, leaving her to handle most of the baby’s care. “When he does hold her, he’s always on the phone watching TikTok,” she said.

The lack of support left her in tears after a recent visit. “I told my husband I cannot do long visits right now,” she wrote. “He got defensive and pointed out that my parents stayed with us after the delivery. But my parents actually helped—they cooked, cleaned, shopped, and did laundry. His family, on the other hand, left me cleaning up after them and their kids, who were blasting TV shows and running around the apartment.”

“I’m extremely frustrated and feeling very unsupported by my husband,” she admitted. “How would you handle this? I feel like my needs are being ignored. I need support so I can take care of the baby, but he doesn’t seem to understand that.”

Other Reddit users quickly jumped in with advice and encouragement. One commenter urged her to take back control of the situation: “Ok you absolutely need to take control of your postpartum. Have your husband tell his family you’re taking time off from visitors so you can rest and reconnect. Lock your doors, hold firm.”

Another asked pointedly: “Why is your husband sleeping until 11 a.m.? You need to start there, I think.”