Parent Wants to Have a ‘Small’ Christmas with Fewer Gifts. Now, They ‘Feel Guilty’ It’s Not ‘Magical Enough’ for Their Kids

A parent of a 4-year-old and a nearly 3-year-old says they’re wrestling with guilt ahead of Christmas — not because their children will go without, but because their holiday won’t look as “big” as other families’.

In a post on a “toddlers” subreddit, the original poster (OP) explained that they’re having an “internal struggle,” reminding themselves that parents set the tone for what Christmas looks like — including gift-giving, expectations, and what feels normal.

“It’s just hard not to compare our family to others. It feels like my kids are probably getting like a 1/3 as many gifts as their peers,” they wrote. “And honestly that’s for the better. But I still catch myself thinking we should do more.”

OP said their children have grandparents on only one side of the family, and those relatives typically give a couple of modest gifts.

“They don’t go over the top. They’re not the type. Just a couple $30-50 things,” they wrote. They added that their kids usually don’t receive gifts from their spouse’s four siblings, might get something from one sibling, and sometimes receive a present from a close friend.

From there, OP said the plan is simple: one present from Santa, plus a few small gifts from the parents.

“Then they each get one thing from Santa. And maybe like three to four small things each from us,” OP added. “We have the money to go over the top, but I hate the crazy pressure of consumerism and over buying on Christmas.”

OP said they weren’t looking to be convinced to spend more — just hoping for some reassurance from others who also resist overbuying and still worry about whether fewer gifts can feel “magical enough.”

In the comments, many people offered support, with several noting that young children measure holiday “bigness” differently than adults do.

“I’m also in the anti-over-consumption boat, but I’ll also add that small children have a much different perspective on what is ‘big.’ Once you hit say three to four gifts it all sort of becomes moot and they forget half the things they even received,” one user wrote. “You probably have an epic Christmas planned in their eyes.”

They also shared an example from their own home: “Santa is bringing my 4yo a box of Cinnamon toast crunch and let me tell you it’s going to be all he talks about all day.”

Another commenter told OP that the gift list sounded perfectly ordinary — and possibly even ideal — especially for toddlers.

“This sounds normal to me. I think toned down is better. Christmas doesn’t have to be about the gifts and by setting this as an expectation now, it will make it easier later,” they wrote. “My 3yo is getting 1 gift from santa, one from me, 1 from cousins/uncle/aunt and 1 from grandparents. I feel like it will get harder later and comparing gifts with friends but for now, what you are doing even sounds like alot.”

They added that a toy overload can backfire at this age. “So many new toys at once are overwhelming at this age anyways,” they wrote, suggesting other ways to build the holiday feeling: seeing lights, playing Christmas music, and decorating cookies.