She Agreed to an Open Relationship. Now Her Boyfriend’s Furious It Worked for Her and Not for Him

A 37-year-old woman turned to Reddit for advice after her boyfriend became furious when the open relationship he had proposed didn’t unfold the way he imagined.

She explained that she and her boyfriend, also 37, had been together for over three years in what she considered a stable and independent relationship. “We are both independent with our jobs, living situations, etc. I do love spending time with him, I don’t really have any complaints,” she wrote. That changed about six months earlier when he suggested opening their relationship — meaning they could both date and sleep with other people.

Although she was hesitant at first, she decided to give it a try after some research and reflection. Her boyfriend assured her that the arrangement would be mutual and that they could close it at any time if she felt uncomfortable. They agreed not to discuss who they were seeing or what they were doing with others.

Once she joined a dating app, she quickly received hundreds of likes. “Within a few days I had 500+ likes, and it’s been pretty steady since,” she shared. She began going on occasional dates, enjoying the low-pressure nature of the encounters. “Even though I was skeptical at first, I am enjoying the open relationship!” she wrote.

Everything seemed fine — until her boyfriend went through her phone. “He saw my notifications and then proceeded to go through my phone and read messages, including the dating app,” she said. “To say he was angry was an understatement.”

That’s when she discovered his real motive. “Turns out he opened the relationship up to take out on a date a younger colleague at his workplace, who misread his idea of a ‘date’ as just a work lunch,” she revealed. He confessed that he had hoped to see if things might work with the colleague so he could eventually leave his girlfriend for her. “She didn’t want him, and it seems like… no one else did either,” the woman wrote.

After his failed attempt, the boyfriend demanded they immediately close the relationship. She refused. “I told him that maybe we should just end things or at least take a break,” she explained. His response was anger and name-calling, even though he had been the one to suggest the open arrangement in the first place.

She left his house that night, unsure of what to do next. “He’s been blowing my phone up and I’m not quite sure what to say,” she admitted, asking Reddit if she was wrong for how she handled the situation.

Commenters quickly sided with her. One wrote, “He admitted that he was stringing you along to see if this younger woman wanted him. If she had wanted him, he would have broken up with you for her and you are asking if you are the AH?”

Another added, “When he said he wanted an open relationship, he didn’t mean for you. He wanted to sleep with other people while you stayed monogamous and probably jealous. Move on.”