Teen Chooses to Live with Dad and His Fiancée 12 Hours Away from Mom, but She Claims They’re ‘Alienating’ Her

A woman has sparked an online debate after sharing her dilemma about whether she’s wrong for letting her fiancé and his teenage son move in with her—despite opposition from his ex and her own mother.

The 42-year-old, posting from a throwaway Reddit account, explained that she met her fiancé a year after her husband died in a motorcycle accident six years ago. The couple, both 42, began dating through a work connection and have maintained a long-distance relationship, living 12 hours apart in different states. They visit each other monthly and talk constantly. “My fiancé has been an amazing partner and I feel lucky I was able to find love again after tragedy,” she wrote.

Her fiancé has a 16-year-old son from a previous relationship, and the teen has been supportive of their relationship. “He’s great and very close with his dad,” she said. The real challenge, however, has been dealing with the boy’s mother.

“His mom is… how can I put this nicely? Bitter,” she admitted. Her fiancé and his ex have spent years battling in court, and her few interactions with the woman have been “unpleasant due to her hostility.” The ex once accused her of pursuing her fiancé’s money, harassed her online, and even told her to “step aside” so the parents could reunite. When the couple got engaged, things worsened — the ex tried to gain full custody of her son, but the teen pushed back, requesting reduced visitation with his mother through his guardian ad litem, which the court granted.

Since then, the teen has kept strict boundaries. “He only visits her for a few hours one Saturday a month,” the woman wrote. “If she brings up his dad, he leaves. If she tries to guilt or argue with him, he hangs up.”

She has tried to remain neutral, focusing on supporting her fiancé and stepson. Recently, her fiancé was offered a long-awaited job transfer that would let him live with her full-time. He gave his son options — stay with his mother or aunt near his current school — but the teen chose to move. “He said he can FaceTime his friends, and there’s a really good STEM school near us willing to take him mid-year,” she said. The move is planned for late December, with court approval already secured.

Still, the teen’s mother is furious, accusing her ex of alienation. Despite documentation proving he’s encouraged their son to repair the relationship, the harassment toward the fiancée has intensified. “She’s been messaging me from multiple accounts saying I’ve ruined her family and that if I really cared, I’d move closer so they can co-parent,” the woman wrote.

When she turned to her own mother for advice, she was surprised by the response. “My mom sided with his ex,” she said. “She said the mother has every right to be upset and suggested I temporarily live closer to them to help keep the boy’s routine stable.”

The woman, however, doesn’t believe that’s fair. “I was born and raised here. I love my town and my home. I don’t want to give that up,” she wrote. Yet she’s left wondering whether she’s wrong “for not considering moving closer given the circumstances.”

Commenters overwhelmingly sided with her. One pointed out that the teen made his own decision: “The 17-year-old chose to move even though he could’ve stayed with his mom or aunt. He’s shown remarkable maturity.” Since the court approved the move and he maintains contact with his mother, the commenter concluded that the woman is “not the a-hole.”

In a follow-up comment, she clarified that “the judge ruled he’s capable of setting his own schedule.” The plan is for him to visit his aunt during school breaks to see friends, and he’ll continue spending a few hours with his mother during visits as before.