Woman Doesn’t Want to Provide Groceries for Boyfriend’s Children, Believes It’s Not Her Responsibility

Splitting expenses in a blended household can get complicated — and one woman says she’s feeling the strain.

In a Reddit post, a 37-year-old woman explained that she’s been dating her 41-year-old boyfriend for nearly two years, and the pair moved in together about six months ago. Her boyfriend has two children — an 18-year-old daughter and a 13-year-old son — who stay with him between one and three days a week.

“I own a home, and prior to my boyfriend moving in, we talked about the extra household chores that would accrue due to more people in the house, and he assured me that he would help with more around the house so it wouldn’t fall on me,” she wrote. “He also assured me that he would take care of the extra groceries and the cost of other outings that we would do with his kids.”

She added that she lives comfortably within her means and keeps a detailed budget of all her spending. She has no debts or loans, while her boyfriend is still making car payments and has tighter finances because he helps support his children.

“We both make approximately the same, and in the last two years he has earned more raises/bonuses than me,” she noted.

The couple each maintain their own savings accounts but also share a joint account, to which they contribute equal amounts every month.

“This joint account is for the mortgage, property/school taxes, home insurance, utilities and groceries,” she wrote. “For the past 2 months, our joint account has been getting low on funds and I noticed my boyfriend has not been buying groceries for his kids with his own funds.”

Recently, her boyfriend told her he wanted to “revisit” how they divide their finances.

“He didn’t go into much detail because I told him we should set aside a specific time to talk about it thoroughly,” she explained. “But basically, he feels that since he has less expendable income due to his kids and other bills that the finances should be split differently.”

Unsure if she was being unfair, she turned to Reddit for feedback.

“Two questions: 1. AITA about not buying groceries for the kids 2. AITA for wanting to split household finances 50/50?” she asked.

Commenters largely sided with her, saying her boyfriend’s financial responsibilities — including his children’s expenses and his car payments — shouldn’t automatically become hers.

“You are not responsible for his children or his car payments, or whatever else he spends his money on. You may wish to suggest that if he can’t afford to live with you, he needs to find something less expensive,” one person wrote.

Another commenter raised a legal concern: “Be careful about paying mortgage out of joint account. I’ve had lawyers tell me that someone could potentially make a claim to owning part of your home if they help pay for it.”

A third person pointed back to the agreement they made before moving in together: “You were upfront that his kids would mean extra costs for him. Remind him that this was a condition for him moving in. It’s his responsibility to manage his money.”