A woman turned to Reddit after a holiday scheduling dispute left her wondering whether she was wrong to prioritize her job over a family get-together.
She explained that her immediate family includes her mother, two adult sisters, and her sisters’ children. In her post, she noted she’s in her 20s with no kids, while her sisters are in their late 30s, and the children range from 3 to 15—making family gatherings energetic and, at times, stressful.
Both sisters work in the medical field, she wrote, while she works a public service job with a strict schedule. “Now I work from Friday to Monday at my job. The entire weekend,” she said, adding that it leaves her with limited flexibility.
The family typically celebrates on Christmas Eve, but this year the plan changed when one sister had to work that night. “Because my sister works and will barely even make it to Christmas this year they moved it to the weekend before,” she wrote.
Her frustration wasn’t just about the new date—it was how it happened. She said the decision was made before Thanksgiving without her input or any request for her to take time off. By the time she found out, she added, her workplace had already denied holiday leave requests.
She emphasized that she would still attend the actual Christmas celebration. “I get 4 days off for Christmas. So I will be able to attend Christmas,” she wrote, pointing out that she’d still be spending multiple days with her family shortly after.
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():focal(750x351:752x353):format(webp)/christmas-dinner-family-sparklers-121125-b22639a53dce4ccc9d54cad3e96ba9d8.jpg)
Even so, her relatives pressured her to show up for the rescheduled weekend gathering, encouraging her to call off and “just drive about 2 hours away” for one evening of games—then drive back in time for work.
She refused, explaining that missing that particular shift could create a serious problem: “That particular Saturday they want me to call off, I will be the only worker on shift that has keys and a security code to the building,” she wrote, adding that the workplace might not even be able to open if she didn’t show.
According to her, her family brushed off her concerns. “My family argues it’s one day,” she said, recalling that they insisted it wouldn’t be a big deal.
The situation also left her feeling singled out. “Why doesn’t my sister call off on Christmas? Why is my job suddenly not as important as theirs is?” she asked.
And beyond the work issue, she admitted she wasn’t eager to take on what she described as an exhausting trip—questioning whether it was wrong to want to avoid “the stress of 4 hours of driving, screaming children, and the constant nagging of my family.”
In the comments, many people assured her she wasn’t in the wrong. One user suggested she clearly explain that calling out as the key holder could put her job at risk, and that the family should have checked with her before changing plans.
Another commenter pushed back on her relatives’ expectations, saying they weren’t respecting her work responsibilities and that last-minute call-outs reflected “terrible work ethic.”
“If it was so vital that you attend their gathering, then they should have checked with you first to make sure that day was an option for you,” another wrote.
