Woman Says Her Partner Expects Her to Cook a ‘Whole Spread’ of Food from His Native Country for His Family — but Won’t Help

A woman says her partner invited his family to spend Christmas day with them — and now he expects her to prepare an entire Christmas feast featuring dishes from his home culture.

Sharing her situation on the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum on Mumsnet.com, she explained that her partner of three years is from another country, and the only relatives he has living in the U.K. are a brother, a cousin, and their partners, all from the same home country.

She said her partner recently invited all four relatives to their house for Christmas dinner, and she’s “dreading it,” because he wants her to cook “a whole spread of their traditional Christmas dishes.”

“We’re trying to save for a house and I had already declined to go to my family for Christmas to take away pressure of buying presents, etc., and I thought we’d have a cozy day,” she wrote, noting that she assumed she’d prepare something simple and put it in the oven.

“I don’t have a bloody clue where to start,” she added, saying she can’t find recipes in English and would also be responsible for prepping the rooms and bedding for guests, making the whole day feel like “constant work.”

“I’ve got visions of me slaving away in the kitchen whilst they are all eating (and probably criticizing the inevitably crap food between themselves) and getting drunk,” she said.

She then revealed she is five weeks pregnant and is worried she may be exhausted by Christmas.

“AIBU [am I being unreasonable] to tell them no, and [that] we either visit them or we have Christmas just us?” she asked the community.

“[My partner] says I’m being miserable, but he has absolutely no intention of helping with cooking as he hates it,” she wrote. “I’m completely supportive if he wants a Christmas eating his own culture’s food, etc., and I’d be delighted to join. But I can’t be expected to do the bloody cooking for it.”

Community members responded quickly, reassuring her that her concerns were valid.

“He has invited them so he can cook. If he can’t/won’t cook then he needs to tell them either not to come or accept what they are given,” one commenter wrote.

Another advised: “Tell him you are looking forward to trying all the dishes he will be preparing and how much you appreciate him sharing his culture with you.”

Some commenters suggested deeper reflection.

“Is this how you want your future to be? Rethink your X-mas plans. Go to your folks and think about what you expect from your life,” one said.

Another added, “I think you might have made a mistake with this man.”